Most tweets come from your grundle—the space between your sewage line and your bravado. (See: president.) So it's pretty jarring when someone actually calls you out for things you wouldn't even write on a truck stop bathroom wall. Not to mention when that someone is a professional athlete asking you to get their face tattooed on your back, like you promised.
Some poor guy by the name of Jeff Buss was doing just that: rattling off whatever was in the gutters of his mind, assuming he had a safe bet against Archie Bradley. Archie Bradley is a pitcher. How on Earth could he possibly plate a run in a big game like an AL Wild Card playoff? More important: how could Archie Bradley ever discover that Jeff Buss—a Diamondbacks fan living in Nebraska, apparently—tweeted this?
Well, two things happened that will deeply impact Mr. Buss's life last night. One, Bradley did this:
And Two, Bradley also did this:
Just note the time stamp. Bradley is hunting down motherfuckers online at 1:32 in the morning (Phoenix time) after the Dbacks' 11-8 win over the Rockies, making sure they get his face tatted on their back. That is one pumped-up duderino right there.
The only question now is: since Bradley plated two runs, does that mean Jeff has to get two tattoos of Bradley's face? Maybe Bradley's face and body? What about a face tattoo of Bradley's face? Either way, it seems like Bradley is available on Twitter to stake out the terms.