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Behold This Sacred Photo of Keanu Reeves Holding Spaghetti Sauce

"Buy this sauce," he seems to implore. "You want this sauce."

by River Donaghey
May 23 2018, 3:33pm

Photo via Reddit user sassy_but_classy.

Our crumbling, imperfect world is not worthy of Keanu Reeves. He is a man of many hats: star of film and meme and onetime bass player in a mediocre band. Sure, he takes some shit for having an acting range that exists somewhere between dark and brooding and monosyllabic grunting, but to those Keanu naysayers, I offer this: What about Bill and Ted? What about that movie with River Phoenix? Also, the guy kind of inspired the entire Fast & Furious franchise in a strange, backward way, so fucking cool it.

To all else out there, to those who appreciate the essence of Reeves in the undying way he is meant to be appreciated, today is a good day for you. Please, stop what you're doing, find a quiet place to focus, and soak in this glorious photo of the star holding up a jar of spaghetti sauce.

Behold:

The photo was posted by Reddit user sassy_but_classy—a name that could also be used to describe Keanu himself at times—hanging on the wall in a Buffalo, New York, Italian restaurant called Chef's. On the surface, it seems to just be another of those standard celebrity photos adorning the walls of restaurants, but upon further reflection, it's so much more.

First, that look: It is almost hypnotic, eyes staring, boring holes deep inside you, offering you what must be a truly exceptional spaghetti sauce. Buy this sauce, he seems to implore. You want this sauce. This sauce can be a balm for all that has befallen you. It will heal your broken heart; it will fix your financial woes; it will mend your hair's split ends.

What brought Keanu Reeves to this particular establishment? Unknown. When? A mystery, though judging by his John Wick–ish facial hair situation we could likely land on a rough time period. Why is he so excited about the sauce? We may never know. Questions abound and answers are few, but at least we have this photo—or a photo of a photo reproduced on our computer screen, which still somehow manages not to dilute its awesome power.

Enjoy this sacred photo of Keanu Reeves and a jar of sauce. Bask in the healing glow of his eyes. Feel a wave of rejuvenation wash over you. You are healed, now. You are welcome.

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