During a wide-ranging interview with the Associated Press in October, President Donald Trump pretty much said that ISIS was over. “[W]e’ve done an excellent job. We’ve defeated ISIS,” he said. “ISIS is defeated in all of the areas that we fought ISIS, and that would have never happened under President Obama. In fact, it is going the other way. And I think we fought extremely effectively on everything I’ve wanted to do.”
That’s...that’s not exactly true. The Institute for the Study of War contradicted Trump, suggesting that ISIS is far from defeated. “On its current trajectory, ISIS could regain sufficient strength to mount a renewed insurgency that once again threatens to overmatch local security forces in both Iraq and Syria,” the group said, according to the New York Times.
Although the number of foreigners who travel to Iraq or Syria to join ISIS has fallen dramatically, it still picks up about 100 new members from countries outside the Middle East every month. But unfortunately for ISIS, some of them sound like whiny-ass disasters.
Macer Gifford, a British anti-ISIS fighter who battled the group in Syria, said he found a letter from an English-speaking ISIS member that highlighted the concerns of some of these would-be soldiers. “Please consider this letter to be a written complain [sic] about food issue,” the handwritten letter said. “I’ve been here for last 3 nights and 2 days. In this whole period I received only 4 sandwichs [sic]. 2 sandwitch [sic] each day is too tight to meet the nutrition need even.”
The unknown writer did note that both Pepsi and water were available (a product placement that Pepsi has to be thrilled about), but insisted that two sandwiches would not satisfy soldiers who were hungry to defeat the infidels: “I’ve received multiple complains [sic] from almost all the sariyah [small group of soldiers] regarding this food problem [...] An urgent action is badly needed.”
Gifford told Global News that he found the letter in an apartment block where mostly foreign-born ISIS members lived. “I kept the letter because it was in English and faintly amusing,” he said. “Hardly the die-hard jihadi warrior that they like to portray, just a moaning Westerner that’s out of his depth.”
He or she isn’t the only one who’s been unimpressed by ISIS’s meal options. In 2015, British-born fighter Omar Hussain complained on Tumblr about life in the caliphate. “If you have a weak stomach it is strongly advised not to eat out but to rather cook your own food. Many brothers get ill due to the poor hygiene in most take-aways,” he wrote. “It is also a habit for Syrians to eat other people's food without question. Not only would they eat your food without prior permission but they neither inform you of it.” (OK, who hasn’t had to deal with inconsiderate coworkers who take your lunch?)
Hussain, who previously worked as a grocery store security guard, also bitched that his fellow fighters got grabby when it was his turn to hand out snacks. “[I] was pounced upon by everyone in the room,” he wrote. “I therefore refused to give anyone food until every single one of them was sitting down in their seats. Unfortunately I had to treat them like primary school students.”
Maybe that’s the real key to defeating ISIS: take their Pepsi and cut off their sandwich supply. Somebody tell Trump.