"We find this absolutely unacceptable, of zero training value."
Photo courtesy of Twitter user @JamesFamer112
It was a Thursday like any other in Okanogan, a small town of about 2,500 souls in central Washington, until 2 PM rolled around. Up in the sky, a jet dragged contrails through the air like a brush on canvas. As a few locals gazed up in wonder, the plane finished its portrait. And thus, this masterpiece was born:
According to local CBS affiliate KREM, the Picasso behind the stunt turned out to be a Navy pilot stationed at Whidbey Island, a Naval air base a few hours from Okanogan. Military airplanes crop up in the sky above the small town for training operations pretty regularly, the Drive reports—but Thursday's display wasn't exactly part of the official regimen.
"The Navy holds its aircrew to the highest standards and we find this absolutely unacceptable, of zero training value," Navy officials told KREM. "We are holding the crew accountable."
A gigantic dick miraculously appearing in the heavens would be a big deal in any town, but for a hamlet the size of Okanogan, it was front-page news. Local resident James Farmer told VICE that when his brother called him about the contrail dong, he didn't believe it was real. Then he saw the photo.
"I was in shock," Farmer said. "I was just thinking, That dude's wild as fuck for doing that."
Pretty soon, word about the massive aerial Johnson had spread through town. One woman called KREM to complain about it, saying she didn't want to have to explain what was in the sky to her kids.
"There were tons of stories on Snapchat that had a picture of it," Farmer said. "Everyone was just in shock that there was a huge dick in the sky."
KREM reached out to the Federal Aviation Administration to see what the agency might be able to do about the pilot who drew the giant schlong, but apparently, it's out of their hands. An FAA spokesperson told the station it "cannot police morality."
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