It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:
Cry-Baby #1: Sabrina Davis
The incident: A woman was allegedly asked not to take the last rib at a barbecue.
The appropriate response: Either giving up the rib, splitting it, or eating it really fast, depending on how nice you are.
The actual response: She stabbed someone in the eye with a fork.
Last Sunday, 45-year-old Sabrina Davis (pictured above) was at a barbecue in Muncie, Indiana. According to claims made in a police report that was filed later that evening, Sabrina reached for the last rib from a meat tray in the kitchen a little before 7 PM.
A woman named Angela Watkins, who was also attending the barbecue, was reportedly not too happy with Sabrina's rib-taking attempts. According to the police report, Angela confronted Sabrina as she was "upset that Davis was taking the last rib" and felt she had been "taking all the food."
Angela's sister, Lanika Marshall, told police that Sabrina responded by stabbing Angela in the eye with the fork that she'd been using to take the rib. The sister claims that Angela then grabbed a knife and tried to revenge-stab Lanika with it, but was held back until police arrived.
Sabrina was arrested and charged with felony criminal recklessness with a deadly weapon. During police questioning, Sabrina confirmed that the stabbing had been because Angela had taken the pan of meat away from her, but claimed that Angela had pulled a knife on her first.
Angela was treated at a nearby hospital for two small lacerations on her eye.
The police report does not specify who ultimately got to eat the last rib.
Cry-Baby #2: David Wilson
The incident: A woman said IndyCar was better than NASCAR.
The appropriate response: Nothing.
The actual response: Her fiancé allegedly choked her.
Earlier this week, police in Johnson County, Indiana, received a 911 call from a woman in distress. Before the woman could explain the situation, the 911 operator heard a male voice ask "Who are you calling?" before saying "Everything is fine here," into the phone and hanging up.
Police were dispatched to the address, where they found a woman who claimed she had been choked by her fiancé, 57-year-old David Lee Wilson (pictured above). According to a report in The Indianapolis Star, the woman explained to police that David had been in the kitchen while she listened to the Indianapolis 500 in the living room with a friend.
While she chatted to the friend, she reportedly said that she preferred the Indianapolis 500 races to NASCAR races. This sent David, who had overheard from the kitchen, into a rage, the woman told deputies.
She alleges that David came into the living room and began "rambling" that NASCAR was better than IndyCar. He then started choking her, she said, prompting her 911 call.
Police arrested David on allegations of strangulation and domestic battery. He admitted that he had gotten angry after hearing his fiancé "talking trash" about NASCAR, but denied choking her.
Unsurprisingly, the woman reportedly told officers that she and David had been "drinking all day."
Who here is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll right here:
Winner: The guy who drowned the dog :(
Follow Jamie Lee Curtis Taete on Twitter.