John Pham and Rob Sato's 'Haunts' Opening

John Pham and Rob Sato's show, Haunts, opened on Saturday at Los Angeles's GR2. I showed up with my camera and my sister, who drove me. You might know her illustrations from the stuff she does for VICE. She painted a four-way 69 for Kate Carraway's new column.

On the drive down we stopped to eat at In N' Out. Since my sister is r'tarded we sat at the handicapped table. The table was a r'tard, too.

This was the view out of the window on the drive down from Santa Barbara. It was sublimely pretty. The mellowness of California gets on my nerves but it's impossible to deny how pretty it is.

There was a decent crowd outside.

This is one of Rob Sato's pieces.

Rob's pieces were very pretty. It was like he took the familiar materials you would see in people's homes and made them into impossible structures that defy gravity. They were all beautiful and worked on multiple levels.

The gallery didn't have a public bathroom so we pissed at the Japanese supermarket where I spent 40 dollars on candy and saw this scary mask.

This is my friend Kathy who runs BB Dakota, a clothing company that sells neat clothing aimed at young women.

This is what Kathy was wearing under her clothes. It made her look like she had low hanging nips and a hairy chest.

This is what John Pham's pieces looked like. They were all super precise gouache paintings that looked like black light posters.

This is John Pham with his work. Behind him you can see a piece depicting a room in which all of the things he painted exist. It was a great idea and placed all of the paintings in a context.

Here's another two pieces by Pham.

This is John Pham's dog.

This is an interesting-looking girl who goes to a lot of art shows in front of some of Rob Sato's pieces.

Ben Jones was there too. He looks a lot different since the last time I saw him. He is a super big deal and very nice.

I went into the parking lot to piss again and I ran into Jesse Moynihan giving a tarot reading on the hood of someone's car. Jesse did this comic for VICE and works for Adventure Time. Half the people at the show worked for Cartoon Network.

This is my sister and her friends. Their nickname for themselves is the Psychotic Girls Club. They were all very funny and make art. The girl on the right works for Adventure Time, like Jesse and almost everyone else I met at the opening.

This is Hellen Jo, who has also done comics and illustrations for VICE, with her main man, Cal Wong. I asked them to look nonplussed in this picture.

This photo is blurry because I didn't want the parents to see that I was getting photographic evidence that they keep their kid on a leash. We watched them walk down the block and they kept stopping to make out and then their kid would fall over. They should have just duct taped it to a skateboard and wheeled it around.

I was so busy watching the child pet that I didn't notice my sister and her friend had braided their hair together. The girl with the visible face draws pictures on television on a Nickelodeon game show called Figure It Out as part of a group called "Clue Force Three."

And then this guy Aleth climbed all the way to the top of this billboard with his parkour skills. We went to SVA together and he dated a girl I dated after me. He works for Adventure Time now, like every other person in California.

The night was winding down around this point.

Then I dropped off the Psychotic Girls Club and went back to Santa Barbara.

Haunts will be up at GR2 gallery through September 28. If you're in LA stop by 2062 Sawtelle Blvd and have a look.

@NicholasGazin