Adriane Schramm
Gorilla Munch KNOWS You
Steal a glance into those wise eyes. He will plow right through all of your neurotic, subconscious jabber. He is a healer.
Hey! Who's Gonna Sit by You?
The first time I ever witnessed someone get punched in the face, it was over a Weird Al Yankovic tape. The victim? My mom.
Baubo, the Vulva Clown
The first time I heard someone say "fupa" was an instinctual, clear moment where I instantly understood what it meant.
DO NOT LET CAT OUT
If my grandma had a tag name, it's got to be either "Don't Let Cat Out" or "Watch for Cat." She bombs the shit out of her crib with Sharpie markers just so the cat will never taste freedom.
Screw Made You
Thank JayCrayCray the 70's were so sleazy, fun, and depraved. If you've ever tried to grab a quick minute and shamelessly rummage through poor old mom and dad's stuff, chances are you have been gifted with at least one gloriously lewd, hairy, drugged...
People I am Stalking
Speaking of spying on people, I used to have a fairly gross addiction to Star, InTouch, Life & Style, and OK! magazines.
When your hot dog falls apart there's always Secret Caverns
If all the hot dogs and LSD of summer have mutated...
This boat is for deities only
My folks sent us to Unitarian churches, where everybody was encouraged to be themselves and believe whatevs and wear as much corduroy as possible.
From whenceforth vomit
Sometimes an unexpected shit-facing happens and you are way past too drunk to lay down and sleep without the miserable circus music of your brain taking a swirly, jelly, clammy vibrating boat ride.