Latest

Features

Cher Lloyd Drowns In Piss While X Factor Does The Same

Why it's hard to feel sorry for the "Swagger-Jagger" singer.
Sheree Millington
8.19.12
Motherboard Blog

These Weird Little Bugs Are Using Sunlight for Food

Here's something that could solve a great deal of humanity's problems real quick: humans not having to eat so much, or at all. We could stop mowing down the Amazon to plant grains to feed cows, or maybe we could take our collective foot off the neck of...
Michael Byrne
8.19.12
Music

What the Hell, Here Are Five Overlooked UK Punk Tracks

Chris Thomson has been a member of several influential DC bands and is currently part of Coffin Pricks. He also possesses a voice that sounds like it’s coming from a schizophrenic whose brain is controlled by both Darby Crash and Mark E. Smith. We...
Chris Thomson
8.19.12
Sports

Ocho Misbehavin'

2012 started off OK for Chad Johnson, née Ochocinco, but nothing has been going right since his divorce—he's even lost his coconut water endorsement. So what should he do? The smart (read: stupid) money is on him joining the Jets and Tim Tebow, because...
Nathan Simpson
8.19.12
The Sprinkles of the Sandman Issue

Nasty Kidz

Lookit that old fat bitch!
Johnny Ryan
8.19.12
New music

Schoolboy Q: "Party"

Schoolboy Q lets us know how hard he parties.
Noisey Staff
8.18.12
Noisey Blog

Brother Ali: "4th King"

Brother Ali jumps on Jake One's beat and reps for the albinos.
Kieran Yates
8.18.12
Motherboard Blog

Public Access Beats: Julia Child Remixed, "Keep on Cooking"

The thing is that these PBS remixes should be way worse than they are. I'd honestly put off paying much attention to the first couple, "Mister Rogers":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFzXaFbxDcM&feature=relmfu and "Bob Ross":http://www.youtube.com/watch...
Michael Byrne
8.18.12
Comics!

Talkin' 'Bout the Boards - Everything Is Silly Including Your Comments

Thank you for reading our articles and saying to yourselves, “I have something to add" and then writing that we are talentless pieces of shit. This site isn't just a back and forth where we make a thing and you comment on it. There's a third volley of...
Nick Gazin
8.18.12
News

This Week in Florida - Mitt Romney Hangs with a Cocaine Smuggler

Mitt Romney campaigned at a Miami restaurant owned by a convicted cocaine smuggler. A man attacked his girlfriend with a hammer because she tried to convince him to vote. Jackmeoff Mudd, was arrested by Broward Sheriff’s officers for assault...
Billy Corben
8.18.12
Stuff

Taji’s Mahal – Turnt Up in Bushwick

Skating and rap are both awesome things and things that Hip Young People like, but for whatever reason, they hardly ever mix well, like ice cream and steak. The exception that proves the rule here is Zoo York rider and New York City native Black Dave...
Taji Ameen
8.18.12
Music

Iron Maiden Is Great Thanks to Murder

Some friends of mine in New Jersey had a theroy about Iron Maiden. They surmised that the first five Maiden albums were perfect metal records, mainly because every song was about, alluded to, or conjured up images of killing. Even the instrumentals...
Anthony Pappalardo
8.18.12
2395626384