Woman Opens Package of Sausage, Sees Terrifying Meat Face Staring Back at Her
We've all opened a package of ground meat and found a sentient, clown-like apparition, right? Right?
This Ancient Prince's Tomb Was Found Between a Pub and a Supermarket
Scientists unveil new insights about the 6th century 'Prince of Prittlewell.'
British Supermarkets Will Ban Energy Drinks for People Under 16
Public pressure to ban the drinks has been mounting due to their dangerously high caffeine content.
Stop All the Clocks, Fat White Family's New Single Is Massive
"Breaking Into Aldi" was written with Sean Lennon and that bloke from the Black Lips, and is a prerequisite to ram-raiding a supermarket.
Cry-Baby of the Week: A Cop Got Upset Because a Store Was Selling Liquor Flavored Chips
Also this week: A woman allegedly attacked someone in an Applebee's because they weren't speaking English.
Jamie Lee Curtis Taete
Brits Are Freaking Out About the Very, Very Bad Word on This Box of Crackers
Stock up, party people. We can foresee a black market for these boxes very soon. Now to get some Camembert and a connection to the Darknet.
British Dairy Farmers Are Staging Cow-Led Supermarket Protests
Dairy farmers have taken to supermarkets across the UK in protest of the milk price cuts putting many out of business. These “trolley dashes” see farmers clear shelves of milk, with some even bringing cows along.
The UK's Smoked Salmon Is Covered in Lice and Shit
Farmed salmon are literally living up shit creek, often suffering from chronic sea lice that quickly become immune to chemical treatment. But the even shadier side of smoked salmon is what happens when it hits the factory.
Christmas Ads for People Who Hate Christmas Ads
Tis the season when big advertisers roll out “emotional” commercials to try and guilt you into buying your loved ones shit they don’t need. Many people call this “the most wonderful time of the year.” You and I do not.
Mark Copyranter Duffy