chris long

1.4.19

So Many Idiots Believe Chris Long's 2-Year-Old is On Twitter

The Philadelphia Eagles defensive end said that his two-year-old son became upset after *reading* a quote from Chris's brother Kyle, a guard for Chicago Bears, *on Twitter.*

2.16.18

Eagles DE Chris Long Dunks on Fox News Anchor's Shitty Tirade on LeBron

Laura Ingraham basically claimed that LeBron shouldn't talk politics because he's an athlete. Long shoved a bunch of "non-politician" Fox News guests back in her face.

12.26.17

Chris Long Apologizes for Premature Celebration

The Eagles won a wild one last night against the Raiders, which included Long sacking Derek Carr and celebrating while the ball was still up for grabs.

2.17.17

Chris Long Goes off on Twitter Fools About White House Visit

Chris Long won the Super Bowl, is a free agent, and won't be going to the White House. He explained why in a woke tweetstorm last night.

2.9.17

LeGarrette Blount and Chris Long Latest Patriots to Skip White House Super Bowl Visit

Nine percent of the New England roster has announced they will not attend White House celebration for winning Super Bowl.

1.14.16

St. Louis Rams DE Chris Long Impersonates Powerball Hopeful

He called himself Rod Carriker.

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