Actually, Wedge Salads Are an Abomination
Down with this vegetal doorstop.
3 days ago
Working at an Ice Cream Shop Is a Lowkey Nightmare
Some people do cry over spilled milk.
5 days ago
The Pain and Sorrow of Learning Your Beloved Childhood Pizza Is Trash
Quad Cities-style pizza rises to the level of legendarily terrible—like 'The Room' or the 'Troll 2' of bad pizza.
A Definitive Ranking of Almost Every Flavor of Mountain Dew
I did the Dew in 25 different incarnations to bring you this comprehensive guide to its many nuances.
Stop Calling Me a Monster Because I Bite My String Cheese
Doing away with the ridiculous ceremony of separating individual cheese fibers opens up a world of possibilities.
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Betty Crocker Rainbow Chip Frosting Is Best Enjoyed Straight Out of the Tub
After the Angry Internet Mob successfully demanded that Betty Crocker bring the stuff back from the dead, I knew I wasn't alone.
Actually, Tiny Overpriced Grocery Stores Are Perfect for Indecisive People
I look at the exorbitant prices as my penance for the inability to make a decision in bigger stores.
Actually, NY-Style Deli Sandwiches Are Too Goddamn Huge
I'm gonna fill you in on a sandwich hack that will change your life (and the way you eat pastrami).
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Jack in the Box Jalapeño Poppers Got Me Through Tough Times
When you're making eight dollars an hour but need a complex, Michelin-star-worthy flavor bomb, these are the snack for you.
Actually, Slicing Bagels Like Bread Is Good
As a St. Louis native, I urge you to think twice before jumping on the hate train.
I Love Boston Market's Mac and Cheese More than I Hate Capitalism
The rotini spirals are perfectly designed to retain the thick orange cheese. The pasta, always soft yet springy, can do no wrong.
Dear Restaurants: This Chair Sucks
This uncomfortable and not particularly attractive chair has become a disease.