I’m Fugly, and I Won’t Be Your Waiter Tonight
The food industry employs 10 percent of the American workforce, and many restaurants are breaking anti-discrimination laws by requiring applicants to submit head shots—which means, if you're ugly, you might not get hired.
Uggs Are Cool, Everyone Is Stupid
If you put on a pair of Uggs you will cum your pants. Of course, no one in Brooklyn realizes that because they're too busy making pickles like they did in old times.