Girl News

  • What Girls Need

    What you want is, like, fun and newness and gorgeous chaos and clothes and long, thin, girl-faced boys. But what you need is going to be something quite different.

  • Girls and Girl Stuff

    Girl World--by which I mean the figurative realm belonging to women, and the literal, gross, overstuffed, multicolored-textured-layered habitat that most chicks live in--is characterized by its things, its central symbols.

  • What Girls Like to Eat

    Girls totally love food just like boys but maaaybe even more (?) because we are the sensualists. Say it: seeen-shu-al.

  • What Girls Like to Wear

    Clothes are the most important thing to girls! I don't mean it in a shitty sexist way, come on! As a collective, on a daily basis, the choices of clothes and the style that they're majicked into create a meaningful dialectic of bodies and behaviors.

  • Girls and Guy Friends

    Never have I ever, even in my darkest and most self-hating depths of annihilating sexism, suggested that girls and boys can't be friends.

  • How Girls Look Good

    Forgetting about makeup, which is mostly for shits and gigs, the stuff that girls do to themselves and put on themselves to look good is divisive and conflicted and ultimately so weird.

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  • Girls and Sex

    This thing happened to girls and sex that changed it. I think. Maybe it is the slow but eventual workings of girl-boredom and advanced over-it-ness about the useless and terminally fraught "man-woman stuff" to quote my shitty ex-boyfriend (Another...

  • Girls and PMS

    Here's what's fun about PMS: It is simultaneously the most unifying thing about being a girl and the thing about being a girl that dudes are most afraid of. (Dudes, you know? Can't live with 'em, pass the peanuts.) Think of PMS like testicles...

  • What Girls Should Do in Their Twenties

    I just turned 30.5 and as a half-birthday present to myself I am relieving myself of the shards of non-wisdom that I have gathered in the past ten-point-five years by throwing them your way like so many candy beans. In this scenario that I am imagining...

  • Why Girls Act Dumb

    Acting dumb is a silent plague, a self-imposed reverse eugenics, and the worst thing that girls do to themselves and accept from each other. It's totally crackers. I'm not really sure right now if it's worse to be purposefully stupid, from willful...