'Drink Ticket Malfunction,' Today's Comic by Jeff Mahannah
The mechanized nightclub doorman malfunctions and spurts out free drink tickets!
How Hot Pockets Saved a Man from the Deadly Ohio Plane Crash
On Tuesday morning, Akron, Ohio resident Jason Bartley decided to duck out of his apartment and get some microwaveable pizza pockets. If he hadn't, he would now be dead.
Mysterious Teen Burglars Are Stealing Denver's Hot Pockets and Netflix
That’s right, the shadowy specter has an unwavering hunger for the precious snacks and 'Cowboy Bebop' episodes of unsuspecting Coloradans.
Stop Fat-Shaming Chris Christie!
If every criticism of President Obama can be attributed to latent racism by his opposition, then I think it's only fair that I get to write a think piece about how Chris Christie is the victim of the sizeist agenda.
Record Hustlers are Pompous Assholes
This knowledge has been with me for some time, but recent observations have heightened my prejudice for this slime-drenched sect of humanity.