Lionel Messi

6.28.18

5 out 5 Moms Agree: Messi is the Best

The Argentina star shocked a reporter who gave him a good luck charm from his mother and showed him he wore it during the win against Nigeria.

3.14.18

Lionel Messi Nutmegs Chelsea Keeper Within Two Minutes of Match Start

Messi's Champions League curse is certainly lifted.

2.26.18

Lionel Messi is Quietly Having His Greatest Season Ever

Messi destroyed the record books in 2011-12, but this year he's doing more with less.

9.28.17

Pitch Invader Kisses the Feet of Messi, Will Never Wash Lips Again

One man's lips ascended through the clouds to graze the foot of the Soccer Gods' chosen one.

7.29.17

The Miami El Clásico Is Already the Silliest El Clásico

The mayor of Miami welcomed "Rolando" to his fair city—and that's just the jumping off point.

6.23.17

Messi to Pay $800 For Each Day He Should be In Jail for Tax Fraud

It appears to be a kind of good faith fine, given that Messi's 21 month prison sentence was expected to be thrown out anyway.

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5.5.17

FIFA Lifts Messi's Four-Match Ban for Insulting a Referee

Messi would have missed three other qualifiers, and would have only returned for their final qualifier against Ecuador in October.

3.23.17

Peruvian Police Reportedly Seize Over a Metric Ton of Lionel Messi-Branded Cocaine

The world is about to wave goodbye to over a tonne of gak worth around £73m, the marketing of which would have been lost on unappreciative nostrils anyway.

3.15.17

Unpacking The Logic Behind Calling a Footballer ‘The New Thierry Henry’

When Kylian Mbappe faces Manchester City on Wednesday evening, he will bear the burden of comparison to a true great. This is inherently unfair on a young player, and also based on a deeply flawed rationale.

3.4.17

Messi Has No Regard for Defenders' Feelings As He Nets Two Pure Golazos

Messi has a way of making difficult goals look smooth as milk.

1.8.17

Messi Just Achieved Self-Actualization With This Immaculate Free Kick

Lionel Messi will surely be canonized soon for this saintly act.

12.19.16

Deconstructing The Arbitrary Debate Over ‘World Class’ Footballers

It seems that not a week goes by without an argument over a footballer’s ‘world class’ status. Here, we call out that frame of reference for being completely fucking pointless.

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