The ‘Learning to Be Spider-Man’ Meme Is the Next Great Spidey Meme

These memes are crap. Crap, crap, mega-crap. I'll give you $200 for all of 'em.


Tucker Carlson Claims Ownership of Tacos, Accuses Univision Anchor of Appropriation

"I’m from San Diego, man. Those are my tacos. Mine!”


Kansas Man Wouldn’t Stop Fucking a Car Until He Was Tased

A Kansas man was charged with “lewd and lascivious behavior” when cops found him sticking his penis in a tailpipe.


Great News: Publix Will Now Frost Your Cakes with 'Cum'

The grocery chain has changed their rules on custom cake profanity after botching a cake intended to celebrate 'summa cum laude' honors.


I Created an Endless Loop of Free Pizza and Now I'm Drowning in It

I've gotten at least eight free pizzas from a major national chain, which we will refer to as 'Pizza Daddy,' in the last three months.


Mother Accidentally Serves Children Literal Bowl of (Pasta) Dicks

When her daughter asked for a box of 'smiley face' pasta, the 24-year-old mom didn't notice that they were, uh, penis-shaped until it was too late.


Did Gosha Rubchinskiy​ Design a Tattoo for Kanye West Using

The website—favored by high school art students the world over—is the easiest hack in the book.


Inspiring: This Woman Was Banned from a Restaurant for Complaining Too Much

"It would be appropriate if you would kindly refrain from visiting the restaurant in future,” a letter from a steakhouse to Wales resident Kelly Smith read.


Concerned Adults Claim that Bubble Tea Is Ruining Teens' SAT Scores

"Kids hanging out at boba milk tea shops are throwing their futures away," a post on Nextdoor reads.


Serve Hot Dog Water Ice Cubes to Guests You Hate, Petty Tweeter Suggests

I would not wish this on my worst enemy.


Incredible: You Can Now Name Your Own Follicles of Guy Fieri's Hair—for a Price

Fieri's Follicles is the modern-day Star Registry we deserve.


SPOTTED: A $40 Juicero Wasting Away in a Los Angeles Goodwill

Before the high-end juicer became a Silicon Valley cautionary tale, it cost $699.