Regrets

Fake AI

This Is the Only Good April Fools’ Joke So Everybody Else Can Shut Up

Can an AI predict what would have happened had you asked out that high school babe?
Jordan Pearson
4.1.17
Stuff

We Asked People What They Regret Most in Life

"I regret the last phone conversation I had with my big sister, the day before she committed suicide."
Paul Sauer​, Photos by Tor Birk Trads
9.12.16
the vice interview

Talking to David Cross About the Worst Time in His Life, His Proudest Moment, and His Biggest Regret

The 'Todd Margaret' and 'Arrested Development' actor told us about severed fingers and shouting "transvestite!" at a schoolboy.
Joel Golby
6.6.16
Filth

Shirtless Clemson Dude Belly-Flops into a Mud Puddle

Clemson bro goes swimming in the mud during "College GameDay."
Sean Newell
10.3.15
Perfect Worlds

The 4Chan of ‘The Sims’

I was a cyberbully in a community for “The Sims,” and I feel really, really bad about it.
Marlene Sowder
5.7.15
Sex

Having More Sex Makes These Male Beetles Feel Insecure

Mo’ honeys, mo’ problems.
Becky Ferreira
3.9.15
alcohol

Scientists Say You’re at Your Most Attractive When a Little Buzzed

A new study has found that beer goggles kind of work both ways: our faces are perceived as a little bit cuter after we've sipped down a piña colada.
Hilary Pollack
3.4.15
The Dap Corner

These Are My Regrets, Volume Four: Hats

"We're gonna have an ear-pop-out situation."
Dapwell
9.24.13
Stuff

My Greatest Regret Is Not Making Out with a 500-Pound Woman on a Shitty Talk Show

My biggest regret, the one that haunts me to this day, the one I think about more than any other, the one that sends me into cold sweats is, “What if I had agreed to appear on that sleazy talk show pretending I dated a 45-year-old 500-pound woman back...
Chris Gethard
5.26.13
Pen Pals

Thirstbuckets

Normally, I like to coin my own crackerisms and slang when it comes to describing indescribable prison behaviors, but I can’t improve on “thirstbucket.” In case you don’t know, that’s ghetto terminology for inmates who have crackhead tendencies...
Bert Burykill
12.18.12
Stuff

What Kids Say About Regrets

"I did evil things, but I didn’t learn anything, and I don’t regret them."
Lisa Carver
6.12.12