The Technology Issue


Ooh, Ooh, Ooooh, Ooooooof!

Rubbing yourself up against a dink or giner is good for having an orgasm, but all too often these organs of pleasure are attached to a human being who may end up causing you trouble, strife, or, worst of all, LOSS OF MONEY.


Copy Sluts

Photos by Maggie Lee, Styling by Annette Lamothe-Ramos


Hamilton's Pharmacopeia

I have never been that into opiates. Sure, the drug train has made a brief stop at heroin junction, but it’s honestly not my thing.



When history looks back at our quaint little era, it will focus on two things, the two most outstanding technological achievements of mankind: Segways and lightsabers.


More Gold- Encrusted Caviar, Your Highness?

This is a sidebar to our story about all the lavish, derailed macro- alcazars that are possibly not being built. These ridiculous hotels made it. And we like them.


Ghouls In The Machine

Do you remember that terrible film White Noise? The one where Michael Keaton is chased off a roof by evil spirits? Well, that film was about Electronic Voice Phenomena (EVP). Not only was it crappy but it pissed off most people interested in EVP...


Street Poll

Vice: What one thing would you invent that would improve your life?Joseph: Good question! Something like an implant that allows you to turn on and off how fucked you are. Like a little dial on your arm. A "fuckedness" dial.Do you think...


Chilled Monkey Brains

Dr. Robert J. White performed his first neurosurgery at age 15—on a frog cadaver in high school bio class. Over the next 50 years, he operated on more than 10,000 brains.


Hoots Mon! It's Haggis Time!

Och aye, Jimmeh! Is there anything more satisfying in life than a wee dram and a haggis after a hard day's kilt-wearing and Sassenach-hating?


Screwed By Search

In 1984, I was 15 and always eager to learn something new about the human experience. For some reason, the photo booth at the Central Avenue Woolworth's in Albany, New York, was my preferred venue for these lessons.


My Dad Was The Game Master

While most kids' parents limit their children's time playing video games, my Dad did the opposite. That is because my dad is Howard Phillips, Nintendo's former spokesperson and creative director, known better to first-generation Nintendo players as the...



CHICKEN: LOW ART, HIGH CALORIE This is yet another one of my forgotten stoned ideas come to fruition. I must be a virtual millionaire in stoned ideas. It is a book documenting fried-chicken