"We just couldn’t even fathom it."
The South Brunswick police are calling the man the "Donut Desperado."
Unfortunately, this is far from the first time that sticky-fingered criminals have targeted berry fields.
Girl Scout troops around the country have been the target of several thefts this year.
Thirty-four baseballs were stolen from Don & Charlie’s, including balls signed by Willie Mays and Babe Ruth.
Oh shit, it’s the Dysons of Anarchy!!!
“Jesus, what are they going to do with it?”
The stencil was jacked from the music venue where 90 people lost their lives in a 2015 attack.
The thief also stole his hands.
The restaurant is offering $200 to anyone who can return the cacti or provide details about their whereabouts.
"We know what you are thinking,” the local Sheriff wrote on Facebook. “Please resist—this is a respectable Facebook page. We are just reporting the facts.”