Volume 19 Issue 5

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A Hairy Situation

It turns out Sweden's tolerance extends only so far as its armpits.
Caisa Ederyd
6.5.12
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Vibrators Through the Ages

Welcome to the museum that celebrates one of the most important technological breakthroughs of the past millennium: the vibrator.
Darren Wee
6.5.12
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Lights Out

Bill Odenkirk wrote a poem to acknowledge the tragic demise of Thomas Kinkade.
Bob Odenkirk
6.5.12
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Lap That Shit Up

Even if you think your shit doesn’t stink, consider that at one point or another your thirst has probably been quenched by water from a septic tank.
Toby Fehily
6.4.12
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Deaf Comedy Jam

Deaf comedy hasn’t had a lot going for it ever since black people ran it into the ground in the 90s.
Allison Van Siclen
6.4.12
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The Playstation Vita

Lots of people don’t have to get a Vita. Should they?
Stephen Lea Sheppard
6.4.12
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The Twitch

To become Miss Snake Charmer, a revealing swimsuit and a desire for world peace aren’t enough. You must also have enough skill with a knife to remove the epidermis of a serpent.
Ryan Knighton
6.4.12
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Sorry Your Dog Got Decapitated

If there’s a golden rule for people who run a dog-sitting business, it is this: Don’t let the dogs you’re watching get mauled by other dogs.
Kara Crabb
6.1.12
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Lovely Owls

I think if everyone got his or her own owl to raise we would have world peace in no time.
ELLIS JONES
6.1.12
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Girls Love Girls #4

Before long, Heather is blowing smoke up Madison's ass (when played in reverse, it looks like Madison shits out smoke. And tells you to kill your parents).
Chris Nieratko
5.31.12
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Records

Killer Mike is so smooth and fluid, yet hard at the same time. He’s like a nanostructured amorphous solid, or Slimer with a boner.
VICE Staff
5.30.12
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Smart as a Rabbi

I’ve seen dead bodies before, but this is going to be rough. This one is going to sting right where my foreskin used to be.
Brett Gelman
5.30.12
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