Hi guys! You remember Kreayshawn, right? Her debut album, Somethin’ Bout Kreay, sold 3,900 units in its first week, making it among the worst first week sales for a major label artist in history.Now, she's flying in the face of natural selection and spawning a child. She’s also having a baby shower and you’re all invited (to buy her gifts)!
The mum-to-be posted the above image to her Tumblr along with a link to a Babies-R-Us registry, where you can choose what gifts you’d like to buy for someone that you’ve never met. Don’t worry though, she’ll be live streaming the whole event so you can watch her face as she rips open a 4-in-1 convertible crib and uses her post-fame status to avoid doing things that normal people do.
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Anyway, I’m having a serious problem. I don’t know what to get her. Do I go all out and opt for the Lion King Cozy Coo Sway Seat at $139? Or should I opt for the thermal receiving blanket, in blue, for the small price of $6.99? In order to help me decide what gift I’m never going to buy, I'm posting a small list of potential gifts taken from Kreayshawn’s registry with some pros and cons. Any help would be greatly appreciated.Lion King Themed Hamper
Pro – It keeps the nursery nice and organised and features an adorable applique of Simba, animalistic ambassador of childhood dreams.Con – This gift costs $40. Kreayshawn could make use of one of her unsold boxes of CDs and use it instead.SleepSack Swaddle Microfleece
Pro – The SleepSack replaces loose blankets in the crib, which, if you’re retarded or a rapper with a bad habit, can interfere with your child’s breathing (read: death). At $20, this gift is affordable to anyone that wants their baby to live.Con – Babies can fall asleep anywhere and everywhere. Trust me, I was one.Lion King Mobile
Pro – Everyone unanimously agrees that mobiles are something that babies appreciate. They’re expensive, yes, but can provide hours of fun and require no interaction from birth parents.Con – Kreayshawn would probably stick this on her head and label it as a piece of performance art.Thermal Receiving Blanket
Pro – If you’re looking to skimp on gifts, then this one is really cheap.Con – I don’t know what it means. However, nine people "Like" it on Facebook, so it has social media worth.If you've got more money than Kreashawn has left over records, then you can scour the rest of the registry here.Follow Ryan on Twitter @RyanBassil
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The mum-to-be posted the above image to her Tumblr along with a link to a Babies-R-Us registry, where you can choose what gifts you’d like to buy for someone that you’ve never met. Don’t worry though, she’ll be live streaming the whole event so you can watch her face as she rips open a 4-in-1 convertible crib and uses her post-fame status to avoid doing things that normal people do.Anyway, I’m having a serious problem. I don’t know what to get her. Do I go all out and opt for the Lion King Cozy Coo Sway Seat at $139? Or should I opt for the thermal receiving blanket, in blue, for the small price of $6.99? In order to help me decide what gift I’m never going to buy, I'm posting a small list of potential gifts taken from Kreayshawn’s registry with some pros and cons. Any help would be greatly appreciated.Lion King Themed Hamper
Pro – Everyone unanimously agrees that mobiles are something that babies appreciate. They’re expensive, yes, but can provide hours of fun and require no interaction from birth parents.Con – Kreayshawn would probably stick this on her head and label it as a piece of performance art.Thermal Receiving Blanket
Pro – If you’re looking to skimp on gifts, then this one is really cheap.Con – I don’t know what it means. However, nine people "Like" it on Facebook, so it has social media worth.If you've got more money than Kreashawn has left over records, then you can scour the rest of the registry here.Follow Ryan on Twitter @RyanBassil
