Kern's Girl of the Week - Jannie

Every week Richard Kern invites us to his L.E.S. apartment where we go through a huge box of archival photographs from his long and checkered career. This week’s featured model is Jannie, an aspiring writer who plays with prophylactics for Kern.

VICE: Is that thing fake?
Richard: I mean it’s a real condom. But yeah, it's completely fake. Is it alright to put that shit in the magazine?

Hey, It is what it is. But really, is there anything more gross than a used condom?  
I mean, it might as well be interesting, I think. This girl was also in Shot by Kern. Her name is Jannie. She's another one I got from Craigslist around 2007.

The Craigslist years.
Yeah. This girl was a writing student at Iowa University—a really good writing school. And she’s actually written a couple of things for VICE. But she told me that she was just looking through Craigslist and saw my ad.

Did you put your name on it?
I can’t remember if I did. She didn’t know anything about me. She was looking to make a little money, but she said she was doing it ‘cause she thought it’d be fun.

Where was this shot?
This is in her house in Long Island. She would have very specific times we could shoot. Her parents would go to work, and her skater brother came home at three. So I’d drive out there and shoot her. I shot her there like five times. And we shot Shot by Kern out there.

I’d hate for her parents to come home.
I know, man. Or the brother! She was raised super traditional Asian. But she was a great model in that she just didn’t give a fuck about what we’d shoot. I shot all kinds of crazy stuff with her.

Like what?
I had a shot in the book Model Release of a girl with a condom hanging from her puss with fake cum dripping out of it. That shot sold really well so I figured I’d try it again. I shot Jannie lying down with this big, gigantic condom—that’s the size I use, by the way—on her stomach. Magnums, they're such a huge condoms. They look completely unreal. But this looks kind of real. I don’t know if we should say it’s fake or not.

How do you go about making fake cum?
Cetaphil.It’s face washing stuff.

Is that what everyone uses in porn?
I think a lot of people use it. It’s a little too consistent to look like cum. I’ve used it a bunch of times. People also use glue—white Elmer’s glue, but Cetapjil looks pretty real.

It looks too white.
I was watching this ‘80s porn the other day. The only cum shot in the whole thing was when this actress got hit in the face over and over again. The cum looked like it came from some guy going schwick schwick with a syringe. It was so obvious but I guess that worked back in the ‘80s. I could imagine something happening like what's in this photo. When you first saw it, what did you think?

I thought, “I hate those things.”
Yeah, exactly. I’m curious to see if they’ll put it on.