AUTHOR: Haddad Hatter
SOURCE MATERIAL: Annie the Musical, The Godfather, Mickey Mouse cartoons
SUMMARY: Walt Disney visits Little Orphan Annie to give a speech about following your dreams. He compares his dreams and winning an Oscar to drug flashbacks. Out of nowhere, Mario Puzo walks in to shoot photos of Annie. Disney encourages Puzo to write The Godfather.
BEST LINES: “I had already received an Academy Award in the year 1932. The year was 1951, and one of my best years. I knocked myself in the head to get rid of my flashbacks.” FIFTY SHADES OF FLANNEL
AUTHOR: Nancy O’Toole
SOURCE MATERIAL: 50 Shades of Grey (Yes, it’s fanfic based on fanfic.)
SUMMARY: Nancy’s own description: “What happens when a billionaire former crack baby meets a mature woman who stumbles into his office? If you believe in romance, stilted conversations, curious legal documents, and the power of flannel, you’ll submit to this tale.”
BEST LINES: “What other woman secrets does he understand and yet tantalizingly keep just beyond my grasp? Bioré Pore Strips in my ears? Waxing my big toe? Pinot Grigio and Fritos whilst watching Real Housewives?” IT TOOK THEM TIME
AUTHOR: Loopyloonylupin96
SOURCE MATERIAL: The Harry Potter series
SUMMARY: A teenage Remus Lupin fantasizes about barebacking Sirius Black during class. Later, Sirius walks in on Lupin masturbating and helps the young werewolf come. Lupin, feeling guilty that he might have sexually assaulted Sirius, hides under an invisible cloak. But Sirius finds him and removes Lupin’s wet boxers, and… You can take it from there.
BEST LINES: “Remus had known, ever since he first saw Sirius Black, that he was gay… His friends had accepted it. I mean, when you’re a werewolf, what’s a little bit of varied gender preference on top of that?”