Photo viaLast week, New Zealand passed the Definition of Marriage Amendment Bill, enabling people of any gender or sexuality to be married. As a supporter of the bill, I can find solidarity with others who feel the same way- which to be honest describes 99.9 percent of my friends and family. Let’s call them reasonable people who don’t like messing with the dignity of others for no reason. However, at the time the bill was tabled, my pal Sarah-Rose Burke served as an executive assistant at Parliament. This made her a direct line between the government and marriage equality’s more extreme objectors. Which sucked.VICE: Hey Sarah-Rose, can you describe your job during the whole Marriage Amendment debate?
Sarah-Rose Burke: We had to respond professionally to some of the most vitriolic, angry, ridiculous emails I have ever read. I wanted to delete pretty much all of them immediately, but I didn’t. Instead I kept a list of excerpts from the worst of the worst.What were some of the most compellingly awful?
Here, I’ll read some out:“A consideration of the sexual practices of homosexuals reveals that they are the result of a disorder.”“As a community we are not helping the homosexual community by pretending that homosexual acts are normal and may be accepted as marriage. The promotion of the Wall bill is imposing a cruel deception on the homosexual community, they deserve better than this.”“I ask the question, has anybody stopped and thought about what is actually involved in the ‘love making’ act between two men. Has anybody stopped for just a moment and put all the emotion aside to think about how unhealthy this act is? When the penis is inserted the anus where all the waste from the body is rejected from, how can anybody ever consider this normal?”“Love in itself is not illegal, although the way it is expressed may be (rape, adultery, incest, euthanasia, abortion, murder).”Yikes. Pure speculation: take a complete blank slate of a person, indifferent or lacking any knowledge of this issue. What do you think their impression would be after reading all the public feedback you received on it?
Honestly, if all they had to go on was the letters and emails received in our office, then the impression would be that the public were overwhelmingly opposed. On the other hand, public opinion polls always showed it was more like 60/40 in favour. It was frustrating trying to reconcile the feedback people gave when the question was asked of them, compared to the feedback from people who had to take the initiative themselves to reach out to the politicians.I think it said a lot more about the complacency of the New Zealand populace and the certainty that the bill would pass. Even when, in the first readings, it was not certain at all.Was it hard to balance your role’s impartiality with your own personal views?
It was very hard. But I pride myself on my professionalism so I did my best. When my boss asked for my personal opinion, I gave it. I offered advice, and the submission I’d made on the bill. Of course I also made sure that responses from the public were treated evenly no matter what their view was.What was the hardest part of this entire thing?
The hardest part was dealing with the emails.It became exhausting reading time and time again about how the correspondents “didn’t hate” people like me and my friends, but that we were disgusting and unnatural and didn’t deserve rights.And the best part?
The best part was the result. It was listening to the speeches in favour of the vote and being part of the process. It was tweeting the ridiculous things people said and sharing the outrage. It was watching the debates with friends and wine.Did anything make you hopeful before the result?
My friends and family. The people I spend time with in person, talk to on Twitter, and even those I have on Facebook were all either in favour of the legislation or silent on the matter. One member of my partner’s family said they felt it was a waste of the government’s time but when I explained how the parliamentary process worked, sort of brushed it off with an “oh, well then.” Which I totally took as a victory.When I came out on my blog I had nothing but support. When my boss read my submission, when my mum asked if she could use my submission to help her debaters, all of these things gave me hope.Also the Parliamentarians who worked across all parties to support the bill, those who made themselves available for emails and meetings and to spell out issues others were having. It was lovely to see and I don’t think the bill would’ve passed with nearly so great a margin without them.Any thoughts on the future now that it's finally done?
I’ve spent the longest on this question. I can’t be entirely positive about the future now because I saw so much hatred and fear from people of every age that, despite legalisation, I know we still have a long way to go towards full acceptance of LGBTI in New Zealand. But this has been a very important step. So important.I’m looking forward to, should I ever have kids of my own, telling them about my small part in this legislation and having them be as surprised that gay marriage was ever illegal as I was when I found out that homosexuality itself was illegal in my lifetime.Follow Laura: @HungryandFrozenFollow Sarah-Rose: @ohsarahroseMore on marriage equality:Fact: Gay Marriage Kills BabiesSteet Battles Rage in France over Gay Marriage
ΔΙΑΦΗΜΙΣΗ
Sarah-Rose Burke: We had to respond professionally to some of the most vitriolic, angry, ridiculous emails I have ever read. I wanted to delete pretty much all of them immediately, but I didn’t. Instead I kept a list of excerpts from the worst of the worst.What were some of the most compellingly awful?
Here, I’ll read some out:“A consideration of the sexual practices of homosexuals reveals that they are the result of a disorder.”“As a community we are not helping the homosexual community by pretending that homosexual acts are normal and may be accepted as marriage. The promotion of the Wall bill is imposing a cruel deception on the homosexual community, they deserve better than this.”“I ask the question, has anybody stopped and thought about what is actually involved in the ‘love making’ act between two men. Has anybody stopped for just a moment and put all the emotion aside to think about how unhealthy this act is? When the penis is inserted the anus where all the waste from the body is rejected from, how can anybody ever consider this normal?”“Love in itself is not illegal, although the way it is expressed may be (rape, adultery, incest, euthanasia, abortion, murder).”Yikes. Pure speculation: take a complete blank slate of a person, indifferent or lacking any knowledge of this issue. What do you think their impression would be after reading all the public feedback you received on it?
Honestly, if all they had to go on was the letters and emails received in our office, then the impression would be that the public were overwhelmingly opposed. On the other hand, public opinion polls always showed it was more like 60/40 in favour. It was frustrating trying to reconcile the feedback people gave when the question was asked of them, compared to the feedback from people who had to take the initiative themselves to reach out to the politicians.
ΔΙΑΦΗΜΙΣΗ
It was very hard. But I pride myself on my professionalism so I did my best. When my boss asked for my personal opinion, I gave it. I offered advice, and the submission I’d made on the bill. Of course I also made sure that responses from the public were treated evenly no matter what their view was.What was the hardest part of this entire thing?
The hardest part was dealing with the emails.It became exhausting reading time and time again about how the correspondents “didn’t hate” people like me and my friends, but that we were disgusting and unnatural and didn’t deserve rights.And the best part?
The best part was the result. It was listening to the speeches in favour of the vote and being part of the process. It was tweeting the ridiculous things people said and sharing the outrage. It was watching the debates with friends and wine.Did anything make you hopeful before the result?
My friends and family. The people I spend time with in person, talk to on Twitter, and even those I have on Facebook were all either in favour of the legislation or silent on the matter. One member of my partner’s family said they felt it was a waste of the government’s time but when I explained how the parliamentary process worked, sort of brushed it off with an “oh, well then.” Which I totally took as a victory.
ΔΙΑΦΗΜΙΣΗ
I’ve spent the longest on this question. I can’t be entirely positive about the future now because I saw so much hatred and fear from people of every age that, despite legalisation, I know we still have a long way to go towards full acceptance of LGBTI in New Zealand. But this has been a very important step. So important.I’m looking forward to, should I ever have kids of my own, telling them about my small part in this legislation and having them be as surprised that gay marriage was ever illegal as I was when I found out that homosexuality itself was illegal in my lifetime.Follow Laura: @HungryandFrozenFollow Sarah-Rose: @ohsarahroseMore on marriage equality:Fact: Gay Marriage Kills BabiesSteet Battles Rage in France over Gay Marriage