Police Dogs in Los Angeles Are Super Racist

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Welcome to another edition of This Week in Racism. I’ll be ranking news stories on a scale of 1 to RACIST, with “1” being the least racist and “RACIST” being the most racist.

-According to a new study on the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department's canine unit, police dogs are more apt to bite black and Hispanic suspects. The report, done by the Police Assessment Resource Council, a nonprofit watchdog organization, claims that minority-heavy neighborhoods like Compton, Lakewood, and South Central have seen more dog biting incidents than 21 other jurisdictions combined. An article on the subject from ThinkProgress claimed that LA cops used to refer to black citizens as "dog biscuits" in the 1980s. Perhaps the implication is that black people just taste better to dogs. I can't say for sure, as I have never eaten human flesh, be it "black, white, Puerto Rican, or Hatian," but I feel like I personally would be delicious to a dog, due to my diet heavy in high fructose corn syrup. 7

-Last month, I linked to a story about Toni Christina Jenkins, a Red Lobster waitress in Franklin, Tennessee, who was stiffed on her tip, and got called the N-word on the receipt for her trouble. There's a somewhat happy ending to this story though. A blogger named Matthew Hanson set up a donation website called "Tips for Toni" that raised $10,749 that he then donated to her on September 30.

Hanson said, “It was about sending a message to racists that Americans aren’t going to tolerate that. We raised $10,000 within 72 hours. It was really amazing.” Jenkins told ABC News that she "literally screamed" when awarded with her racism consolation prize. Hopefully she uses some of that money to move out of Franklin, Tennessee. NOT RACIST, BUT ACTUALLY HEARTWARMING

- A former Chicago Department of Transportation supervisor has cost the city $560,000, which it now has to pay out to all the poor souls who had to put up with his racist ass. His name is Joseph Annunzio and his idea of good sport is to refer to African-American employees as "mambo," "Magilla Gorilla," or, when he's feeling unoriginal, the N-word.

He was also accused of putting a red tablecloth on his head at an office party and calling himself the "Grand Wizard," a reference to the Ku Klux Klan. Annunzio denied the allegations when they were first made by the Chicago Sun-Times in 2007, saying, "They accused me of jumping up and down like a monkey and wearing red hoods. They said it happened in one office, then in another office, then down the hall. It never happened.”

Whether or not he's been set up or not, Annunzio has cost the city of Chicago half a million dollars, which is not a good look. Also, I should mention he's the nephew of former Democratic congressman Frank Annunzio. 8

- An former producing partner of Hugh Jackman named John Palermo deleted his Facebook page after getting flack from anyone in Hollywood with a conscience after reportedly posting a number of racially insensitive remarks about people more famous than him. No one was nice enough to take screenshots of the offensive material, but the alleged remarks included:

Kanye West moving to Bel-Air: "There goes the neighborhood!!! It looks like a Poor Persian Palace, where's Kris Jenner when you need her?! #MoneyCantBuyADumbN*ggerClass." 

Julie Chen's eye surgery to make herself look less Asian: "Now that her eyes are finally open, she should leave Monster [Les] Moonves."

On Anderson Cooper's boyfriend's new bar: "#SmellsLikeLubeAndHIV."

In response to the controversy, Palermo told the Hollywood Reporter he was trying to make a point about the lack of diversity and implicit racism in Hollywood. "Maybe people [who take offense] will look in the mirror and say, ‘When was the last time I called Les Moonves and asked for an African-American to play opposite me?'" he said.

Hell of a way to make a point, dude. 9

- In what might be a prank only grad students could love, Salon just published an article by a writer named John Hochshartner (believe me, I giggled when I typed that) claiming that the classic Nintendo 64 game, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, is not only racist, but also sexist and classist. We're apparently supposed to take it seriously when an article unironically says stuff like, "Some may interpret the fate of the wealthy family, who are transformed into spiderlike creatures, in the House of Skulltulla as a condemnation of an exploitive class system, but that would be a mistake." What a mistake indeed.

Hochshartner, if that is even his real name, gets into the racism halfway through his piece, stating:

"All of the good characters, such as the Hylians and Kokiri, are white. In contrast, all of the bad characters, such as the thieving Gerudo and their king, Ganondorf, have brown skin. The Gerudo live in the desert, and in case it wasn’t clear what real-life group of people they are based on, the original Gerudo symbol is strongly reminiscent of the Islamic star and crescent."

I guess Hochshartner forgot that Ganondorf is actually some kind of fucking monster or demon creature, and not a human being. Unless his point is that the makers of the game are racist against demons, he should probably rethink his thesis. Also, how does one become the "King of Evil"? If you're really evil, why would you have time for such a traditional monarchical hierarchy, with its antiquated notions of predestination and patrilineal succession? I think my high school civics teacher would find this particular video game problematic, at best. NOT RACIST

The Top Racist Tweets of the Week:

@laceeybugg there was a car in the ditch and all the blacks were staring and I said "y'all dumb niggers act like ya never seen a car wreck."

— Jared (@Shaquiraqan) October 11, 2013

I always find it weird when chinks have British accents lol

— NIGGA LOREN. (@NeekaLoren) October 11, 2013

Jesus Christ is GOD! GOD put man in charge of all the animals on earth. That includes niggers. Reckon we got a respawnsibility to GOD.

— Chet Walken (@Walken4GOP) October 11, 2013

I fucking hate niggers you're all pieces of shits.

— morgan monroe (@morganmonroe2) October 11, 2013

I hate white people in the morning.. They talk soo much, like stfu

— Dennis Cook (@Hyperion____) October 11, 2013

I'm starting to hate this school even more. It's spelled bulldog, this isn't inner city Detroit and niggers are a minority, it's not dawg.

— Mason Lancaster (@MasonTheNerd) October 11, 2013

I think all the Mexicans hate me after I called soccer beaner ball lolol #ohwell

— Maria (@Marzbarzzz) October 11, 2013

Last Week in Racism: "Royals" by Lorde Is Not Racist

@dave_schilling