Grimewatch

Clockwise from left: D Double in NY, Ears, Jammer and Double, Wiley and friends in London, Ears in NY and Ears a-fucking-gain in NY. Photos by Jamie-James Medina

Ok so here's the drama, bitch. Lethal B has been banned from crap nightclubs everywhere AGAIN thanks to his new single "No!".

He also got banned from the last issue of

RWD

, by Roll Deep who guest edited the new edition because they're still warring with Firecamp like toy soldiers. Despite the continued beef with Lethal, Roll Deep have officially announced they are no longer clashing anyone else as, according to Riko, "it's fucking long and we've got better things to do." He isn't wrong, because Roll Deep have just made what could be one of the biggest British records of the decade. The 19-track album

In The Deep End

is the most amazing, bizarre hybrid of eski-pop I ever heard and it'll make the Mercury judges crap their pants and have zillions of bad journos from the papers calling Grimewatch trying to scrounge pictures and stories (three words: Consultancy fee, CUNT. If one more dipshit bimbo from the broadsheets calls to "pick our brains", we're gonna switch). In other Roll Deep news Skepta and JME also joined the ranks, and you need to go listen to JME's new mix of "Serious" as soon as you can, because it's crazy fucking hot.

In other news, both Dizzee Rascal and Kano jumped on stage with Nas in Brixton and murked it, until the roof got ventilated and everyone had to go home. Diz is making power moves right now. He launched his own kick, a Nike Air 180 with the Dirtee Stank logo on it (later branded the "Poo Shoe" by a rival sneaker company, miaow) and he's trying to sign D Double E and The Newham Generals. Mike Skinner's also had his chequebook out; he's looking to sign either Bruza or Sway. Kano and

RWD

got boyed off by

VIBE

Magazine, who just did the whole exact same Scarface cover shit, but with 50 Cent, thinking no one would notice, but everyone in both the US and UK did and they got slewed left right and centre. Justice.

Logan and Cameo have been swinging their handbags at each other about who gets new dubs first. These are some of the big joints they and you should be fighting over:

No Lay's album—although still in production, she's the biggest femcee in the scene mucking up roads with her single "No Help, No Handouts". Sony are finally threatening to release Goodz' album

A Durrty World

. Dog-Z's dropping an album too, he's been sending for Flirta D on Rinse as well. Terror Danjah is dropping a tape called

Shocking Volume 1

but don't worry if you don't like records, we hear Shystie is making a sitcom.

The grime scene's first post-"Forward" offensive on the charts shook the music industry to its stinking, rotten core last month when Kano, SLK, The Mitchell Bros and Sov all hit the top, erm, 100. Alright look, it wasn't that bad, Kane did good with a number 12 for "Typical Me", SLK's "Hype Hype" hit 44 (no radio support) the Mitchells crash landed at 63 (no radio, pirate radio or club support) and Sov trailed in at 73 (but it was just a soft single so rags). Anyway fuck it, the UK charts is just some amateur, small fry shit for the grime scene now, as last month also saw D Double, Jammer and Ears basically tear the USA a new bumhole.

With roadblock shows in Philly, NYC and Toronto all three clubs were rammed, the

New York Times

went bat-shit about it and Yanks and Canadians alike were hailing grime as the best thing that ever happened to hip hop. The madcap excursion also saw entourage members narrowly avoiding deportation (not everyone on the trip knew it was illegal to take huge bags of weed across international borders, ooops! But the friendly US immigration people let it go for a $200 bribe, so everything was live) ; raiding Juelz Santana's store in Harlem (making off with a set of "priceless" Dipset scatter cushions) and one lucky grime kid pressed a 30 year old journo from

iD

magazine (we still have her stockings if anyone needs to see proof) and still made it back to the club for the end of the set like a true professional.

So while at home in Blighty, Sharon and Tracy in Yates's would still rather get fingered with McFly playing in the background and not grime, mainstream hip hop's terminal decline into what is now basically WWF wrestling (Hi Game, 50, etc…) is paving a way Stateside for grime to have a serious shot at getting a look in, as it basically still has everything hip hop sold off to MTV and the sneaker companies. So no one is crying about shitty chart positions, it's all about making real shit, because THAT is what will send grime round the whole planet faster than you can say "Pharrell who? Oh yeah I think I remember…"