I'm Just a Prisoner

Photo by Reuters

Most people, both screws and inmates, will agree that the level of rehabilitation in prison is slim to none. Therapy units aren’t that high on the list of priorities for prisons because they make no money. They get closed down all the time to make room for things like diaper factories. Inmates are used as regular labour for un-prison-related companies, doing chores that nobody on the outside would even let their dog shit on, for salaries that are below symbolic. Still, there are places that are better than others. And worse. Färingsö, CLASS 4: Closed Regional Facility The food on Färingsö is amazing. We got way better food than those who really need it, like in the schools and homes for the elderly. The breakfasts are as if you’re in a hotel. But during weekends there’s just eggs. I’d eat porridge mostly. Doing time makes you get fat. The rooms are boring when you get here, but you’re allowed to decorate. And during the summers there’s extra staff that you can trick into giving you more benefits. In the end the rooms are prettier than at the best hotels. The beds are stiff, but I sleep well because I work hard during the days. If you think they’re uncomfy you can just go to the nurse and tell her you’ve got back pains or whatever and she’ll get you an extra mattress or pillow. I was always treated well, but that depends on your conduct too. If you’ll just play your cards right you’ll get benefits. Doing stuff like refusing to pee will get them taken away from you. Getting into a discussion with a screw won’t get you anywhere, and after a while you’ll learn who you can talk to. The only bad thing is you’ll get treated like a ten-year-old girl. But after all, it’s my own fault I’m in jail, not the screws’. Oh, and kitchen duty is the best and pays the most, a little less than €1/hour. We’d be doing stuff like packing DVDs for companies too, but a lot of the good stuff always gets stolen. I almost wish they’d work you harder and feed you less, that way the time would move faster. Mondays are my favourites. That’s when the routine goes back to normal and everything starts over. If you have kids there’s a visiting apartment. I don’t have kids so I didn’t get to go to the apartment. As far as I am concerned prisons in Sweden are so comfortable it’s almost embarrassing. SUSSIE Gävle, CLASS 3: Closed Regional Facility Prisons all look exactly the same, even the cells. The beds are all the same and the furniture too. It’s been that way for at least 30 years. Nevertheless, they all have a different feel to them, and Gävle manages to rise slightly above the lot. There’s an excellent treatment ward here and if you play by the rules they might even let you out on paragraph 34. That essentially means you finish the sentence in a treatment centre, not incarcerated. I kicked my drug habit here and I’ve never been to a prison drug treatment like it anywhere else.  Like every other prison the work situation at Gävle is awful. Everyone wants to work with the laundry or in the kitchen. 90% of the jobs would NEVER fly outside of the walls. Stupid shit like stuffing postcards into boxes for eight hours. These are the most mind numbing tasks that would turn anyone into an idiot. The food is really good in prison, but it’s always the same stuff. It’s boring. LASSE HONKANEN Härlanda, CLASS 2: Closed Regional Facility Härlanda is an old jail that was closed down in 1997, and has now been turned into a youth hostel. I did time there right before they closed. It was in the middle of Gothenburg, so friends could drop by and shout to me from the outside, or even throw little gifts and such over the wall. It was a 19th century type jail, so it wasn’t like one of those places you hear about where they have cable TV in the cells. Or toilets. We all had to piss in a pot and empty it in the morning. The absolutely worst thing about Härlanda, and all the other prisons I’ve ever been to, is the so-called work you’re forced to do. In PC Sweden you can’t call a punishment “punishment,” you have to call it “treatment.” The idea is that inmates should learn how to get up in the morning and go to a “real” job. But after having placed three metal screws in a plastic bag every day for two years straight I never want to have a real job ever again. KENTA KOFOT Nyköping, CLASS 3: Closed Regional Facility The worst prison has got to be Nyköping. They’ll let you do drugs, but they’ll never give you leave. Amphetamine used to be the major prison drug, but that’s all changing now. Heroin is taking over big time and a lot of speed freaks are switching substance. I never did junk, but I can tell you that speed was really expensive. At least five times the street price. I’ve been in and out of a lot of different Swedish prisons since 1979, but that’s through now. I am drug free and I’m working in web design. When I’m in prison I just want something worthwhile to do. And there’s fuck all to do! I always sign up to study, but the classes really suck. It’s still better than folding boxes though. When we don’t work we have absolutely nothing to occupy us with. So we play cards. There’s a game called Mulle. It originated in the prisons and that’s where it’s played. Every day, all the time. We even have tournaments. This place has the worst jobs too, I hate them all. You’re forced to work and the tasks are diabolically idiotic. I suspect this is a deliberate move. And a lot of the people at the Correctional Board are heartless pigs. LASSE HONKANEN
Lasse Honkanen and some mates of his are now running the website Tjuvgods.se, where they help sell things people make on the inside. Check them out, the ceramic bowls are really pretty.