The Lights, the Titties - MC Todd Takes VICE to a Strip Joint

Little was known about MC Todd prior to this interview, other than the fact that he lives in Brooklyn, may or may not run a popular restaurant, and likes dreamcatchers and mythical creatures. We sent a very young, and very cute reporter to interview MC Todd (AKA, Brandon Hoy) to get the scoop, and he suggested they meet at Pumps, a seedy strip joint. When Hoy admitted to being on acid at the beginning of the interview, we knew that this was going to be better than we could have ever imagined. 

VICE: Is this your usual Friday night spot?

MC TODD: Sometimes. Not usually. Just every Friday. Is it interview time? My answer to all the questions is “No.” Unless the question is “Titties?” in which case my answer is “Yes.” Yes to the titties. I’m going to warn you now that I just ate a bunch of acid, so things could get a little weird.

So, MC Todd… WHY?

What? What? Me. I’m MC Todd.

Right. You …

[To man at bar] You look like a fucking snake, man. [To me] YOU WANT SOME DOLLARS?

No, thanks. I think I’m good right now. Anyway, where did “MC Todd” come from?

It started in 1977. That was the first time I ate acid. I was in the desert.

Really? Where?

Well actually, it was a strip club, but it felt like a desert. It was hot as fuck…[Full minute of silence]

And then…

And then…that was it…What was the question?

What are the origins of “MC Todd”? When did you become “MC Todd”?

Oh. In 1977.

Right. Got it. So you’re recording now?

Yeah, I’m working on my album. I’ve got, like, two songs.

How long have you been working on it?

Maybe like 9 years.

Do you think you’re close to being finished?

Yeah, I’m real close. It’s coming out…It’s coming out…[Shouts to man at bar] HEY, WHEN DID I TELL YOU MY ALBUM WAS COMING OUT?

Man at bar: Like, a few years ago?

It’s coming out next year. Maybe next summer.

[Two minutes of silence]

Sorry, I just realized I was staring at you. I was tripping out, man. It was, like, the lights, and then I could see boobies out of my periphrial (sic) and, like, titties and shit, and it’s, like, there’s lights and titties everywhere. It’s fucking awesome.

[To stripper] Hey, beautiful. What’s your name?

Stripper: Jennifer. What’s yours?

Brandon… [To me] I gave her my sex look. [Licks gold teeth] Let’s talk more about you!

No no no, this is about you. I hear you did a Candy Rain spread. Is that true?

Yeah, I did.

What did that entail?

My balls, mostly. And dreamcatchers.

Who came up with that concept?

Well, she was like “You wanna do some shit?” and I was like “Yeah, I’m gunna take my clothes off and fuck this dreamcatcher,” and she was like “Yeah, let’s do this.”

I saw your “Triple Aluminum” video. You really have a thing for dreamcatchers.

I have a thing for dreams. I record them. They look a lot like this, with all the lights and the titties and the booty bouncing, but in my dreams it would be raining Benjamins. Also, more glitter. The glitter and the lights. And titties…[Trails off]

Are you planning on playing live anywhere some time soon?

I played live one time at the [Bushwick] Block Party. Oh man, I crushed it. I was killing it.

How many people were there?

Uh, like, thousands. A hundred thousand, maybe. DOLLA DOLLA BILLS.

Do you freestyle ever?

Nah. Not at strip clubs, at least. I don’t listen to Pearl Jam and I don’t freestyle at strip clubs, two things that I don’t do ever. I live by that shit. I also try to dance like Patrick Swayze whenever the opportunity allows itself. You gotta TWERK IT, man. WHEN I WAS IN FLORIDA, I WENT TO A STRIP CLUB CALLED WOODY’S AND THERE WAS THIS CHICK THERE AND SHE HAD BRACES AND IT WAS AWESOME [Shouting]. So my album’s coming out some day, it’s gunna be called Triple Aluminum, and I’ve been working on it for a really long time.

So, basically, this article is just going to be about an album coming out…some time…

Man, when I’m ready, I’m going to set the world on FIRE. Dolla bills, sailboats, dreamcatchers, EVERYTHING. TO THE MOON. Wait…who’s making an article?

I am…

About this??

Yeah…

For VICE??

Yeah…

WHY?? I can’t wrap my brain around this. There’s titties everywhere, I’m freakin’ out…[Does a shot] Okay, BACK TO LIFE AGAIN.

What do you do when you’re not…here?

I make a lot of dreamcatchers. I just make them for myself. I have a weird hoarder room. It’s, like, zebra-print bedspread on a mattress on the floor, and there’s mirrors with booty grime. Somebody asked me today "what you do with a fleshlight after you fuck it?"

Do you have one?

No, I don’t. I’m pretty good at using my hand. It’s attached to my arm and it’s not going anywhere. [To guy at bar] Hey, man! Did you eat that acid?

Man at bar [staring straight ahead]: My socks feel really weird right now, man. My socks feel really weird.

I bet they do! All wiggly on your feet right now, fuckin’ you up…[To me] I accidentally took six hits of acid at the Block Party, but I performed anyway. I was fucking crushing it. Booties everywhere, people were skydiving in clown suits…shit was nuts.

Man at bar: I think I just weirded that girl out.

You probably did. Just go with it, man. Chicks love that shit.

@sashahecht

Photo credit for top photo goes to Greg Minnig