Lance Armstrong

    • 1.17.13

      The 12-Step Program for Lance Armstrong's Image

      After 15 years of denial, obfuscation, and single-handedly creating the worst fashion trend of the 21st century, Lance Armstrong is finally ready to admit to the world—or Oprah, same difference—that he indulged in performance-enhancing drugs during his...

    • 8.30.12

      Lance Armstrong, Steroids, and Why I’d Become a Vampire

      One thing I never understood is why anyone wouldn’t want to be bitten by a vampire. It’s like, what the fuck? Are you kidding me? I’d become a vampire in a heartbeat.

    • 8.27.12

      Lance Angeles

      What happened last week in sports? A lot of stuff, but the real question is whether Lance Armstrong still shaves his legs, or if they were smooth to begin with.

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    • 8.25.12

      Unlimited Juice

      The last week or so has been a bad one for athletes who take drugs. These are not the rare and random wild-card athletes who get nailed for "drugs of abuse," these are athletes who, for reasons that usually come down to making more money playing sports...

    • 8.25.12

      So Wait, Who Actually Won All Those Tour De France Titles?

      On Thursday night the US Anti-Doping Agency stripped Lance Armstrong of his Tour de France titles and banned him for life after Lance gave his Chief Joseph impersonation and told the world “he’d fight no more forever.” So who was the real champion the...