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Vice Blog

Beards and moustaches don't just give one a distinguished and manly look, they can also be extremely practical and can help make life easier. A beard functions to keep your head warm and furry, but there are many, many more pragmatic ways to make optimal use of your facial hair. Here are some videos of creative beard owners, who know how to put their fur to good use.

Is it a broom? Is it a hedgehog? No, it's a guy with 2747 toothpicks in his beard. It may be a little pointless (HA!) unless you plan on throwing an enormous cocktail party or serve up a broccoli-spinach dinner to an army, but it looks pretty impressive. No hugging!

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You may not be in the Christmas spirit yet, but for beard owners, any season is one to be jolly. All you need to do is find some small decorations, shave the sides of your beard and dye whatever is left in the greenest color you can find. Add singing a Christmas carol in a low voice and all will be merry - even in summer. Who says Christmas can't be manly?

Hair and fire have never made a great combination. However, this man knows how to combine the two successfully, and do an amazing dance at the same time. Trying this at home yourself will take some practise, but you know it will be worth it. What kind of men do women love most? Manly men who can dance, and manly men who dare to be romantic - preferably with candlelight. Any woman is guaranteed to go crazy over these moves.

Let's be honest: having a beard can be very relaxing. Ladies can fuss over their hair all they want, but there's nothing more fulfilling than just quietly stroking the furry locks on your cheeks. Sit back, let your fingers run through your beard and let your mind wander off. Not only will your thoughts enter deeper philosophical levels than ever before, you'll look awesome and virile while in deep thought.

[THIS VIDEO STARTS WITH A COMMERCIAL - PROBLEM?]
Now, this isn't something beard owners should try at home, but if you do manage to pull your car with your beard, it may come in handy at some point. If your car happens to break down in a place where you can't get any reception on your phone, but you don't want to leave your car behind because it's a family heirloom, and you have no arms, for example. Careful, though.

Birds are awesome, especially birds who love beards. Find yourself a parakeet that cares for your beard enough to take on the task of grooming it for you, and you won't have to worry about spending too much time in front of a mirror again.

Even beard grooming parakeets need some sort of cage, though. This guy knows how to keep the bird close, and do something practical with his beard at the same time. If it's real, this may be the most insanely practical/nonsensical thing anyone has ever done with their facial hair. But let's be honest: keeping a face grooming parakeet in your beard cage is not for everyone.