There is nothing worse than wanting to have sex and realising that no one wants to have sex with you. Unfortunately, we've all been stuck in that pernicious predicament. In fact, that situation is the basis for just about 75 percent of all art. No one we know has solved the problem of getting penis/vagina/whatever when there is no penis/vagina/whatever to be had, so we figured we'd ask a bunch of strangers what their go-to pickup line was when they saw somebody they wanted to do sex to.
Lauma: Pick-up line?
You know, when someone's asking you out on a date or is interested in you?
I don't think that anyone has ever used a pick-up line on me. Thankfully.
Have you ever heard one from a friend?
Yeah, but it's not in English. "Kā jums, ko jūs darāt uz sestdiena?"
What does that mean?
"Hey baby, what are you doing on Saturday?"
In what language?
Does that really work on Latvian girls?
No, it's like, a really lame one.
Lee (left): My favourite pick-up line was, "I'm getting wasted on champagne and cocaine in a hotel room, want to come over?" True story.
Lotte: "I heard you work in video gaming?" Oh god. So that was the opening and it was like, "Nope! Not gonna work, bye!"
He worked in video gaming?
No, I work in video gaming and he was like, "You work in video gaming!" I just walked away.
Ohhh, I get it. A lot of nerds must get really excited over that.
Yep, then it's like straight away, "Oh, cool!"
Lee, did the cocaine thing work?
Lee: In particular, it didn't.
I dunno, having cocaine and free alcohol kind of sounds pretty appealing.
Do YOU work in video gaming, too?
No, I do tours in Amsterdam in the Red Light District. It's sometimes easy to be mistaken as a prostitute.
That'd be a weird pick-up line. "Are you a prostitute?"
Like, ah… "Commo se…" when you want to meet a girl, sailor con un chica. I don't know how to say "pick-up line" in Spanish.
"Estas mas Bueno que dulce de leche." [roughly, according to Google translate: "This is way better than sweet milk"]
Does that work?
It's funnier in Spanish. It's more, like, joking. It's not a real.
I bet the Argentinean-with-a-guitar thing would work anyway.
You just moved here?
Yes, and I try to… adapt? I dunno.
You're doing the right thing already. Just stay on this park bench with that guitar and you'll meet girls. It works.
Krista (left): Will you marry me?
That's a pick-up line?
I dunno, I'm married, so I'm not sure.
Dese'Rae (right): I'm engaged, too. I can't remember any.
Krista: Oh, here's one: "Can I touch your butt?"
I like it a lot, very straightforward. Is that how you met your husband?
Krista: No, my wife. We went to middle school together. I don't know if I ever used pick-up lines.
Dese'Rae: One time, I had a cupcake in my hand, and I just went, "Can you hold this for me while I order a beer?" It worked, but that was a long time ago. I don't know if that's outdated now.
Did you let him keep the cupcake?
Dese'Rae: No, I took my cupcake back!
Krista: And also his number?
Dese'Rae: Yeah, but I didn't call him… It still worked, though.
*Krista: *That's a good one.I can't think of another one. I'm gonna stick with, "Can I touch your butt?" 'Cause I have actually probably used that at some point.
Molly: I think my favourite pick-up line is the one where you're like, "So what do you want to talk about" and the guy's like, "Well you can come over here, we can talk about the first thing that rises." Like, it would never work, but it's just something that makes me laugh whenever I hear it.
So have you ever used your line?
No, it's just I've never even had anyone who tried it, it's just funny for writing stories or whatever.
I'll take your word for it.
Previously - You're a Cult Leader, What's Your Cult About?