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The Hangover News

A racist and some drunk officials tarnished the Olympics this weekend, but you were too hungover to notice.
30.7.12

UK
LOADS OF SEATS ARE EMPTY AT THE OLYMPICS
Fat cats can't be bothered to turn up to sold out events people couldn't get tickets for

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The British public were surprised and pissed off to see hundreds of empty seats visible at Olympic events they had scrambled unsuccessfully to get tickets for this weekend. LOCOG have explained that the events were sold out and the empty seats, generally located in the prime spots, were most likely allocated to members of the "Olympic family". The "family" consists of officials, members of sporting committee and international federations and, most egregiously, sponsors. Cabinet minister Jeremy Hunt got involved, saying, "I think it was accredited seats that belonged to sponsors, but if they're not going to turn up, we want those tickets to be available for members of the public… We are looking at this very urgently at the moment." To which everyone in the country said, "No shit." At a press conference, Seb Coe, Lord of the Olympics, tried to argue that this is not unusual in the early stages of the competitions. However, his argument was diminished by reports of around 500 empty seats at the mens 400m "individual medley" swimming final, which was billed to be one of the most anticipated races of London 2012, with US swimmers Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte facing off (Lochte won). Organisers are investigating, but so far have only managed to deduce that most of the sponsors probably had a hangover on Saturday after getting shitfaced at the Olympic ceremony on Friday night. To really hammer home the point that no one seems to be able to do anything about this other than earnestly explain how upsetting it is, Lord Moynihan of the British Olympic Association said, "We need every seat filled… We owe it to the team, we owe it to British sports fans." Those sports fans were probably chuffed to see Team GB's football team win their second Olympic match against United Arab Emirates on Sunday. However, the fact remains that a lot of important sport people and rich corporate types are no-showing at events Jane and Joe Public would have very much liked to attend, but instead had to sit at home and watch on TV because they were "sold out". Watch The VICE Guide to The Olympics if you want to find out more ways in which the Games failed before it started. Middle East
SYRIA HAS GOT A WHOLE LOT SHITTER, AGAIN
The Syrian regime claim to have purged key areas, but rebels say they're lying

Annons

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Fighting in Syria between rebels and Bashar al-Assad's regime pig-army has been bloody this weekend. The northern city of Aleppo was the largest bone being scrapped over. Rebels say they have maintained control of the country's largest city, whilst the government claims it has "purged" the area. The latest reports seem to indicate that both sides are doing lots of lying and fighting. The UN has said that 200,000 people have fled the city in fear. The USA has said that the attack on Aleppo is the "nail in the coffin" for Assad. A leader of the Free Syrian Army is reported to have said, "We know he has tanks and helicopters, but we are fighting for a cause… We are fighting for our freedom. They are fighting for nothing.” Whatever the exact situation on the ground at this time, it's probably fair to say a lot of people are going to keep dying.

Media
A GUY FROM THE DAILY MAIL WROTE SOMETHING RACIST ABOUT THE OLYMPICS OPENING CEREMONY
I guess the real surprise is that The Mail were so worried about the reaction that they removed it from their site

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A guy on the internet somehow managed to write something racist about the focus on the NHS at the Olympics Opening Ceremony. For some reason The Daily Mail published it and then took it down again when everyone got annoyed about it. His name was Rick Dewsbury and he used a single example of NHS neglect to complain about the scarcity of mixed race families in the UK. Everyone was like "Wahhhhhh?"

Annons

Business
APPLE MIGHT INVEST IN TWITTER
The tech giant has reportedly held talks with the social networking giant about a giant investment

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Apple's crusade to own everything that left-wing, liberal people enjoy using has apparently led them to consider investing in Twitter.

This could see the two companies team up in a similar way that rivals Google and Facebook have, presumably to condemn us all to a future where Googbook and Twapple are the new USSR and USA or something, IDK. Crime
MAN STEALS BOOK
Terry J. Davis stole from a library and was arrested

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A man in Kentucky called Terry stole a book from a library.

The book was called Resolving Ethical Issues.

Following an arrest by campus police, he was charged for theft and the gods of irony wept.

Mac Hackett is away.