Oslo Attacks: The Conspiracists Have Their Say

It was about 60 minutes after Anders Behring Breivik's atrocities had ended that the internet began to bubble with suspicion.

It seems that this pompous psychopath is set to be inaugurated into the conspiracy theory canon. Yes, Anders Behring Breivik is this week's 7/7, Pearl Harbor, JFK, chem trail, Israel, Libya, Bilderberg, moon landing, Jesus, or 9/11. It's hardly surprising – after all he is rumoured to be a Zionist, Freemason, Christian race-supremacist, all of which makes him a ripe target for the world's online conspiracists. Here are some of their theories.

Freemasons and False Flag

There is a certain community for whom no event with a major death toll can ever be explained by the official version of events. The assumption is that the governments – or the powers behind the governments – are in such control, that nothing anarchic could ever happen unless it was secretly orchestrated by those in charge. As such, people are concluding that the murders in Norway are part of a false-flag operation. That means that the attack was conceived to manipulate public opinion, distract them, and scare them into obedience.

But why would the NWO want to assassinate Norwegian teenagers? Well, to internet detectives, it seems obvious that the attacks are a red herring designed to take attention from the triplicate of New World Order disasters: Murdoch's public hanging, the Eurozone disaster, and the US debt crisis.

Breivik's supposed Freemasonry – images have emerged of him in Masonic clobber – is of enormous significance to those who believe the planet is run by a New World Order. It is often assumed that the NWO is actually an ancient group of secret organisations, like the Rosicrucians, the Templars and the Masons. Therefore, Breivik's interest in Freemansonry should mark him clearly as a potential agent. After all, some people are saying, wasn't the man behind the Dunblane massacre also a Freemason? Clearly they have form, huh?

Facebook

Fuelling suspicion is the confusion around his Facebook profile – the source of much of the media's reporting. Solidprincipals.com has some questions about it:

Follow the Money

Could Breivik have been paid to commit an atrocity? It seems like a shitty swap, as he'll now spend eternity in a Norse prison, but still, people are strange. Anyway, apparently, in Norway you can use the internet to find out someone's annual income ('inntekt'), their actual wealth ('formue') and the amount of tax they pay ('skatt'). Here, supposedly, are Anders Behring Breivik's bank details:

It's Breivik's rise in fortune in 2007 which is raising eyebrows. Of course he might actually have made some money that year, but if you're sort of person who's desperate to find evidence he was hired to do it, this is the kind of thing you could get really carried away with.

Oil Wars

Another theory suggests that the New World Order have been crossed recently by the Norwegian government. The NWO loves nothing more than oil and Norway have been moving to claim the billions of dollars worth of oil in the North Pole. Much as Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya found out, if you have oil, the NWO are going to fuck with you.

The Old Israel Chestnut

So, according to some sources, Norway was ready to accept the idea of Palestine as a sovereign state. People on the internet tend to think Israel are capable of literally anything, and that neither morality or practicality could ever stand in the way of their nefarious ambitions. So, the internet detectives wonder, was this attack merely a warning to the Norwegian government to back off? Or was Anders Behring Breivik in fact a rogue Mossad agent, angered by Norway's Palestinian support?

State Secrets

You might assume that other right-wing nutters would celebrate Breivik, but they're just as suspicious. Members of the message board belonging to Stormfront – the terrifying nationalist skinhead group – have been pointing to a quote from the Norwegian Prime Minister:

The use of the term "silence", they claim, suggests that he knows that there was more than just one man, that there is some kind of hidden group and conspiracy behind the killings. A conspiracy to squash the white race, no doubt.

UFOs did it

Woah, check out this UFO hovering over the bomb site! It's definitely not a hanging light.

I guess if this multitude of theories proves anything at all, it's that the world is a very paranoid planet right now.

DICKIE TUMMY