2010 Bachelor of the Year - No we Couldn't

So they announced the CLEO Bachelor of the Year last week at a party in Sydney, and I’m sure you won’t be too surprised to hear we didn’t quite get over the line. But now the dust has settled, I’ve begun to see it for what it really was--a valuable learning experience. For starters, I learned that if you concentrate too much on walking, you end up looking like an glib cartoon monkey.

That’s me with the intensely rubbery arms. How much do we resemble one of those operatic pop group from the UK? That’s because everyone had to wear the same thing, which may be OK in prison, but in real life it’s really fucking creepy. It’s like that scene in the Matrix, except instead of fighting thousands of Hugo Weavings, Neo has to do hair and makeup for 50 Ryan Seacrests.

First and second prize (a new car and a trip to Vegas respectively) ended up going to a TV actor and a morning show weather man, which I think you’ll agree is totally awesome. For the sake of philosophical discourse, here are some very worthy guys that I think could equally have taken out the title.

This is Jordan Nguyen, who at the age of 26 is the inventor of a wheelchair that can read minds. No shit, you control it with your brain.

He’s also a great dancer.

The guy sitting between me and my future wife is Dan Trotter. A professional angler, he regularly drags fish as big as your torso out of the ocean. He was nice enough to give me some secret fishing tips which I shan’t be sharing with you.

Rama here designs for a surf wear label. He’s a nice fellow for a number of reasons, including the fact that in this picture, he’s handing me a drink.

Jesse in the shorts sailed solo around the world when he was like, 17 years old. These days he’s in video production and is basically a really nice dude.

To be honest, bandana pants here was kind of annoying and I’m glad he didn’t win, but you get the point. Of course there are others I haven’t mentioned, mainly because I didn't get their pictures, but gentlemen; you’re all winners in my book.

P.S. Here’s a picture of me with the winner-winner.

Now, now, come on… I'm not that much taller.