Annons
So basically, long and shortly: you cannot, technically, legally ride a hoverboard on public pavements or roads. If you've been practicing your balancing quietly and politely on the pavement outside your house, then that is technically an offence and you should be in jail, mate. If you've taken it to Westfield to chirpse girls while doing donuts, then I hope you know to make prison hooch, because you are a criminal. If you and your mates have face-planted off one in a McDonald's car park, enjoy being shanked in the kidneys with a sharpened toothbrush, because that's what those big actual hard criminals are going to do to you inside.Own one of these or thinking about getting one? They're illegal to ride in public! Info here: — MPS Specials (@MPSSpecials)October 11, 2015
Overall, this feels very "excuse to cuff and roughhouse young black males in a desperate bid by the police to make their weekly quota" to me – but then, I am famously a cynic! – because riding a swegway on a busy street is no more disruptive than jogging in place at some traffic lights, or carrying eight shopping bags while being a slow doddering nan, or having a larger than usual dog. People ride bicycles on the pavement all the time and nobody really does anything about it, and the same goes for skateboards. People do completely mad shit on pavements and the police do nothing. But then somehow you feel this swegway act might be more tightly enforced than most.On NOISEY: Stop Worry About Selena Gomez's Sex Life And Start Thinking About Real Life On 'Revival'
Annons
Anyway, let's be real; let's – no, come on, sit down and let's be real now – nobody is ever really going to be in any way arrested or particularly stopped for riding a swegway on the pavement. At worst, the police might do that thing where they loop their thumbs through their protective vest and do a patronising "you know that's technically a crime" chat before making you sheepishly dismount and walk around the corner before you ride it again. But it's still nice they dug out a law that pre-dates the invention of the car to make sure nobody rides a swegway on the pavement around them, isn't it? Good work, police. Glad to have you about.@joelgolbyMore stuff from VICE:How Austerity in the UK Could Actually Help the Campaign to Legalise WeedThe Glorious Experience of Growing Up as a Guy with Puffy NipplesThe Myth of Safety: Why Can't Women Get a Ride Home Without Being Raped?On VICE Sports: How Football Explains Capitalism