It’s not everyday that a line truly gets crossed, I mean something that everyone can universally agree is not OK. But last week Aussie boyband, Janoskians, went way over that line. In fact they bro chest bumped each other over it while pretending to masturbate.Janoskians are somewhere between The Midnight Beast and a Walmart One Direction, but even more repugnant than that sounds. They came to fame as a sort of moist version Jackass, sticking body parts in mouse traps with parental supervision. Presumably at some point, some chancing record exec told them they could make a truckload of money if they took those into a recording studio and made a pop album. So the kigu-clad cunts became a boyband, signed to Sony, appeared on Ellen and were interviewed on the Australian version of The Today Show. Thousands of tween fans followed.Fans who tweet things like this:
One of their favourite things to do is fake wank videos, like the one at the top of this blog. They follow people, mostly women, round public places and pretend to masturbate behind them, just like real sexual harassers would! The only difference is…oh wait, there isn't one. It's about as funny as holding a gun to a child's head, making them cry and shit their pants, and then going LOL, IT'S ONLY A REPLICA. One scene in particular has one of them pretending to MASTURBATE IN FRONT OF A BABY while shouting “Your baby’s sexy, don’t let it grow up”.Now they're the biggest thing in Australia with a gazillion young fans, you might expect the lads to repent for being such charmless vermin. Alas no…"Closed minds" about tugging your cock over an infant? Interesting. This video isn’t the first, when they’re not annoying random people by being a bit rapey groping strangers for lulz, they’re pretending that they’ve killed a baby or vomiting with D-list bloggers.They did eventually apologise, but in a manner that sounds like their record company staple-gunned their fingers to the keys and prodded them with electrodes until it was done. "We endeavor to keep our brand what you know and love," is definitely the sort of language that teenage boys who like to simulate masturbation would use, rather than the marketing executives paying their wages.The Aussie media are still in uproar but the fans have stuck by the band. The only hope for the them now is Geordie Shore’s Gaz who has offered the lads his tutelage. Perhaps now they can learn the proper way to behave in the limelight.
Annons
And things like this:Really just want to order the whole Janoskians merchandise online but mum is taking the absolute piss
— LUKE BROOKS (@Selmaa_Zengin) June 12, 2013
And post pictures like this:if janoskians were never discovered i reckon Jai would have been the cute boy who sits at the back of class fixing his hair every 5 secsonds
— ♡squidward♡ (@DearestLuke) June 12, 2013