CHARLIE BROOKER BE TROLLIN' YOU, CONSERVATIVES
Charlie Brooker's ongoing campaign to spend as much time as possible winding people up on the internet stepped up a notch this weekend, as a fellow journalist fell into his web of facetiously misshapen truths.
Brooker spent most of last week on Twitter explaining that David Cameron is a lizard. It was an expansion on a theme touched upon in a column he wrote on October 9th, the intro of which described how Cameron sheds his skin every night before devouring live foals left outside his lair by terrified local farmers.
Graeme Archer, a writer for the Daily Telegraph, took exception to this and pounced; penning an article entitled "Charlie Brooker and the Tragedy of the Modern Left".
In his article, Mr Archer admitted frustration at the "tone of debate from the Left of British politics". Is Charlie Brooker "the Left of British politics"? Or is he a funny man who writes for the Guardian?
Anyway, Archer called the article "repellent" and "depraved" and compared Brooker to David Icke.
Brooker responded by making a number of fresh assertions about the British Prime Minister, most of which were tweeted at him by his fans:
Clearly Brooker deserves to be reviled for airing these views, because he really, really believes that they are true in a literal sense.
Some other stuff happened this weekend. Wanna find out what it was? Go to page two.
MUCH OF THE WORLD WAS #OCCUPIED
The people who organised the protests this weekend reckon they took place in 951 cities in 82 different countries. 3,000 turned out in London's financial district, and camped out on the steps of St. Paul's Cathedral.
If the former figures are anywhere near the truth, then they are impressive. But there remains around the #Occupy protests a general air of vagueness that only serves to undermine the people protesting against something or other in the streets.
Listen to these two, for example. Vague, Topman t-shirt riot platitudes about there being "a lot of anger on the streets at the moment", and attacks on the same old targets: Murdoch, the Lords, the bankers, the corporations, the aristocracy, the notion of profit.
Most of those are worthy targets. But how can you talk about clandestine collusion in the upper echelons of British society when your own existence doesn't take you anywhere near those circles? There is a 'lifting of the lid' required that street protests are not so well-equipped to do.
This is the fundamental problem with the Occupy Movement. Its diverse aims and generalised anger lack the pressure a more focused agenda would be able to apply upon society.
There's a lot to be angry about, but many of the protesters seem dizzy with their own fury.
It's difficult to see how they could protest more effectively, though getting rid of the masks they saw people wearing in a flim once might help anchor their cause in reality a bit more.
THERE'S GOING TO BE A STONE ROSES REUNION
The Stone Roses are gonna play together again after 15 years of not playing together.
A magician friend of Ian Brown's called 'Dynamo' reckons he's had a text off the frontman that read: "We are going to rule the world again. It's happening."
If a text message that was maybe sent by a magician to the Sun newspaper wasn't proof enough, emails were sent out to journalists on Friday telling them that "a special press conference for a very important announcement" would take place tomorrow (Tuesday 18/10).
Conclusive stuff. If The 'Roses reform, they might play a gig at Heaton Park in Manchester.
Does this excite you?
A BRITISH MAN DIED IN AN AMERICAN CAR RACE
British IndyCar driver Dan Wheldon died after getting caught up in a 15-car crash during a race in Las Vegas on Sunday.
Wheldon was 33 years old and travelling at somewhere near 200mph when his vehicle hit some spinning cars and flew into the air.
He smashed into the barrier on the outside of the track and his car exploded on impact.
He leaves behind a wife and two young children.