Today was the start of the music at Glastonbury festival. Wiley didn't want to be there, but it seems like everyone else with access to a social media account did. But what about you, strangers forlornly wandering the streets of London? Are you pissed you're not at Glastonbury?
Josh (left) and Will.
Josh: I have no idea what that means.
Oh. It's probably Britain's musical festival. The tickets always sell out instantly.
Oh right. I guess we missed the boat on that one.
Will: Yeah, we’re not from around here.
Have you been to any UK festivals?
Uh, no – we’ve only been here for a day. Probably getting drunk and picking up chicks is our main plan.
Lovely. So you’re not attracted to getting pissed in the mud? You'd rather do it on concrete?
Nah, we have similar festivals in Australia and they’re not that appealing.
Diane: No, not at all.
Because I love my job, and I’m happy to be here. Why aren’t you going?
Because I have to run around asking people why they aren’t going.
It’s raining here, so I don’t need to go anyway.
Sam: Erm, no.
Is that just sour grapes?
No, no – I know people who used to go a lot, and they’ve reached the attitude where it’s not the same for them now. It’s got too commercial, and it’s almost like a box to tick: “Oh yeah, I’ve been to Glastonbury – when I was at Glasto, etc, etc.”
So it's just a sham nowadays?
I think Michael Eavis and his daughter are in it for the right reasons, but it’s the other people going who aren’t genuine. It was always inevitable.
Emma: I’ve never actually been to a festival.
None at all?
I know, I know – it’s embarrassing. You’re meant to go with a big group of friends, and a lot of my friends are like “Ew! Mud!”
They’re not really down for camping?
I know – they’re all such wimps. I’ve always wanted to go, but you don’t want to turn up and say, “Great, I don’t know anyone here.” And I’d definitely get lost on my own. But I would like to, and I probably will one day. So yeah, I'm gutted that I’m not there this year – mostly because I see everyone posting pictures and statuses like, “I’m having such a sick time!”
Yeah, they all rub it in online, don't they.
Yeah, they do – about 12 updates every single day. I’ll have to stay away from Facebook.
I’m probably not helping by reminding you that you're not there then posting it to the internet.
This weekend, I’ll probably just go out and pretend that I’m at a festival. Then go and sleep in the garden.