Stewed Squirrel

People who don't eat animals are sometimes a handful, but they've got nothing on people who won't eat certain animals.

Not liking the taste of something is fine. Not being able to eat raw steak or whatever because of cholesterol is fine. Not wanting to have a live cobra brought out pinned to a cutting board then watching a Vietnamese chef chop its head off and slice out its quivering heart which you eat raw with a rice-wine chaser is also fine.

But deciding whether or not an entire type of animal deserves to live because it's "more evolved" than another is some serious Mengele shit. Ditto for basing your diet on whether or not certain species meet your criteria of "adorability" and double-ditto for species that you think you're friends with because you've starved and sequestered a member into obedience. Oh, and refusing to eat animals because lower-class people like to/have to eat them is racist against whatever race those people are.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, here's a little stew Cole from the Black Lips whipped together after shooting a squirrel in his backyard.

Ingredients:
1 skinned, gutted, and debulleted squirrel (you can learn all three processes from bumpkins by youtub'ing "how to process squirrel meat")
1 dash sea salt
Pepper to taste
A little butter
1-2 diced potatos
2 stalks chopped celery
1/2 chopped onion
1 clove chopped garlic
1 cup of that Mahattma yellow safron rice
1 tablespoon vinegar--I use a special vinegar made by my Puerto Rican neighbor in his backyard out of fermented peppers (I think) but feel free to use regular vinegar if that's all you got.

Add them all to a pot, cover with water, then slow-cook it on the stove until it smells delicious. Simple.

I'm going to let the head rot in my backyard then use the skull as a necklace. It will be like my rap chain--also making a mold of his teeth so I can get him his own gold grill. The tail's going on my collar. What you do with your scraps is up to you (antenna topper?) but remember, waste not squirrel parts want not squirrel parts.

COLE ALEXANDER
http://theblacklips.blogspot.com/