You know what's relaxing? Hammocks. Lying in a hammock by the sea, lying in a hammock by a tree. Basically lying down. Sleeping. Escaping from waking life, for a few brief moments.
Can I tell you what else is relaxing? May I? Heroin. I have been told it is very calming. Like sleeping in a hammock. This is just what I have heard.
Combining heroin and hammocks might then seem like the pathway to ultimate relaxation, but it is not. In fact, if you hide heroin inside of some hammocks and try to smuggle it into Australia, it will be stressful.
On Monday a 52-year-old Vietnamese-born Australian citizen appeared in the Melbourne Magistrates' Court, charged with one count of importing a commercial quantity of a border controlled drug contrary to section 307.2(1) of the Criminal Code Act 1995.
What this means is that she was caught in Melbourne, arriving from Cambodia, carrying multiple hammocks laden with opioids. After touching down, a Border Force officer selected her for a baggage examination. According to the Department of Border Protection, the x-ray officials ran showed some "suspicious substances" hidden within her hammocks. After testing said substances, the worked out it was four kilos of heroin.
The woman was referred to the Australian Federal Police and charged. She's currently facing a maximum penalty of life in prison, though hopefully the judge will, you know, relax that a little.
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