It goes without saying that vapes and electronic cigarettes are more than just a trend. Today, e-cig tech is a huge start-up scene that brings in around $2 billion a year. If it keeps going this way, you'll have to buy your analog cigarettes at Urban Outfitters next to a row of victrolas with USB drives. Like any rapidly-expanding market, there are companies racing to come up with new innovations that set them apart from the industry sheeple, all vying for a puff of that sweet vapor money. In the case of e-cigs, that can mean crafting bizarre and sometimes heinous vape flavors.
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Our poor parents used to actually sprinkle some lavender into their spliffs when they wanted a tasty smoke. Now, vape manufacturers can create any flavor imaginable using propylene glycol, vegetable glycerin, artificial flavoring, and nicotine. "The various natural and artificial flavors are no different than that what's used in candy or baking," said Chris McOwen, founder of vape and e-liquid wholesaler Vapor Talk. "We've gotten so good at recreating flavors for use in electronic cigarettes, sometimes we just like to step outside the box and challenge ourselves."The experimental e-cig flavors range from junk food to fancy, aromatic flavors with names that sound like bougie perfumes. You can smoke chamomile, candy canes, cookie dough, and cola—a company called Apollo E-Cigs even dropped a nacho cheese flavor they called "Fauxritos" in time for the 2014 Superbowl."Within the die-hard vaping community, the most respected e-liquid brands are ones trying to create unique aesthetic experiences," explained Jon Meyer, a former chef-turned-e-cigarette consultant. "They describe their products like cocktails, with notes of this fruit and hints of that herb."OK, sure. But what about people who don't align themselves with the "die-hard vaping community"? Could virgin vape palates discern the flavor subtleties of e-liquid? We grabbed three loyal VICE writers— River, a non-smoker; Zach, a paper cigarette smoker; and Allie, who dabbles in tobacco and weed—to blind taste-test some weird e-flavors and find out.
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TEST 1 - RED BULL FLAVOR
TEST 2 - COLA FLAVOR
TEST 3 - NACHO CHEESE A.K.A. "FAUXRITOS" FLAVOR
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Allie: This one tastes like vomit. I don't want to say that because it will make me think of vomit, and that might make me vomit. But it tastes like your mouth does right after you throw up. It tastes really acidic and like old food. This is atrocious. This is not something that humans should consume.
TEST 4 - BIRTHDAY CAKE FLAVOR
TEST 5 - ESPRESSO FLAVOR
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Allie: Nope. This tastes like smoked salmon or smoked whitefish—something you'd get at a deli. I wouldn't describe it as "good." I would describe it as "of the sea." It's definitely the meatiest flavor. It's very hearty.