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We boarded the train to Harpenden, just outside of London, and it felt like the sort of place people go on hot days like this, except that a large "trespass ban area" meant that we werenât going to be able to see many of Harpenden's famous sights. This also made us fear for the demonstration â that red dot on the map is where the protesters were allowed to go.

The protest felt like how I imagine Glasto would have felt before it sold out, and I think half of the people there could have verified that for me had I asked them. Luckily, actor Joanna Lumley was on hand with some cows and we grabbed her for a chat.

She told us that she doesnât trust scientists because: âI come from the age when Thalidomide was said to be safe for women, and look what happened there! I donât think scientists always have the answers, unfortunately. Weâre all demonised as hippies.â The protest had been preceded by a week of thoughtful and well-reasoned debate with no hint of moronic hyperbole whatsoever. Oh, except that someone from the National Farmers Union compared the environmentalists to Nazi book burners. And an anti-GM article â referring to a gene added to the crop that occurs naturally in many plants and which is similar to a cow gene â had the scaremongering headline âCow Genes on Toast, Anyone?â. Oh noes! Cow genes? On my TOAST?! That sounds awful!!!!! Oh no, wait; cheese on toast is delicious! So, whoâs in the right and whoâs wrong? Frankly, itâs a bit of a headfuck. Eminent professors are certainly very good at making the protesters look like fuckwitted yokels and bleeding-heart Guardianistas who would prefer people to starve rather than allowing them to eat anything other than organic wholemeal bread and free-range quince jam. On the other hand, the anti-GM people have been pretty good at pointing out who cashes the scientists' cheques and the dodgier actions of the people behind their PR.
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Girl Who Didn't Wanna Tell Us Her Name (Left): Errr. I think itâs the fact that itâs polluting us. I only live down the road. Are you big into permaculture, then?
Zoe (second from right): What does that mean? Yeah! If thatâs a good thing then yeah. I smoke the ganja. What if they could find a way to make ganja using GM so it was super-strong?
Yeah, that would be sick! Whatâs your favourite organic restaurant?
Nando's. Actually, I prefer McDonald's. Chicken burger with chips and a milkshake. Whatâs yours? Iâve heard that Borough Market is nice.

Speeches over, it was time for some action. About 200 activists started marching towards the test site, linking arms as they went in order to break through the police lines.
The French, ever eager for more rolling heads to boot up and down the Champs-ĂlysĂ©es, led the charge.



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Rebecca Nesbitt: No, Iâve got hay fever! Iâve just seen a banner go past saying, "BIO-DIVERSITY, NOT CORPORATE MONOPOLY"âŠCatchy.
Yeah, I mean, thatâs just so exactly what I believe. Itâs a shame that theyâre not engaging and understanding the difference between Rothamsted which is a publicly funded research organisation and a corporate monopoly. Maybe some bad things have happened in the past because of the GM-corporate mixture, but that doesnât mean we canât look at it as a way to improve food security. Would you consider yourself an environmentalist? Even though nature hates you so much it gave you hay fever?
Yes, definitely. When all this was kicking off about ten years ago, I would have considered myself anti-GM. Iâve realised since that a lot of scientists are environmentalists and are fighting the same cause that I am, so I trust them.


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