What Kinksters Do When Their Fetishes Are Impossible
All art by Heather Benjamin


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What Kinksters Do When Their Fetishes Are Impossible

It's hard to feel sexually satisfied when you're only turned on by giant people, aliens, or being swallowed.

Fetishes come in a range of forms, from a longing to slobber on a set of toes to wanting to be penetrated by an extraterrestrial. Of course, with sexual desires, some are much easier to fulfill, while others are just impossible. From wanting to be trampled by a voluptuous gigantic woman to being anally swallowed by a dragon, impractical fetishes come with challenges way beyond telling your partner that you like it rough.


"I always say that fetishes are like snowflakes. Each fetish is so intricate and detailed," Jackie Castro, a licensed sex therapist and author of Fetish and You told me over the phone. "But, some of them like macrophilia, people who like the Amazonian women, have really limited their choices. How do you deal with that?"

Castro, who has been involved with fetish for over 30 years, said that having an impossible fetish isn't easy, but there are things you can do.

"I find it's the case that people [are affected mentally and emotionally by these fetishes], that is why they come to me for help," Castro said. "Most of our fetish takes place in the brain, so first of all you have to accept that you can't have sex with an alien, but you can imagine it."

So, can a vivid imagination really satisfy your deepest desires? We reached out to people with impossible fetishes to find out how they cope.

Giantess Tina has a macrophilia fetish and likes to fantasize about being a giant, from 50 ft. tall to the size of the universe.

VICE: Can you describe your ideal sexual scenario?
They all have in common something involving power dynamics of a sort. In my case, the interactions can range from a gentle domination to the complete crushing of my partners. People from this size community would label me as a "cruel giantess." I'd like to hold a dozen little people in my palm and watch them squirm and fight to regain their balance. I'd gently dip the tip of my tongue in the center of my palm and gather them. I would keep on toying with these little people for a few more minutes, dropping one here and there, smothering a few between my breasts while giggling…


How do you deal with the fact that you could never live out your deepest sexual desires?
I've always considered my fantasy to be strictly this: a fantasy. Imagination is a crucial part of the process for me—the more I imagine things, the more "real" it gets. This fantasy is cute in this sense that everyone knows it'll never happen and that only makes it more real and vivid. Besides, I dearly respect life and couldn't harm the most nefarious living being if I tried to.

So what helps you get off?
That's the interesting part. I create. I create all kind of representations of my fantasy. Most people have an artistic talent in this community. It's kind of mandatory. I have tried a lot of things to represent the pictures I had in mind. I wrote stories, created games, painted, drew, did some CGI, and photo-manipulations. I role play as well.

Does your fetish carry over into your real life sex?
My significant other isn't into it, but we do communicate a lot and have a fulfilling sexual life. I just happen to have two sex lives in one.

Rose is a 29-year-old with an exophilia fetish. She has been a fetish artist for the past ten years. She developed her sexual attraction to aliens after watching Star Trek as a young girl.

Can you tell me about your fetish?
Exophilia is a desire, a sexual and emotional attraction, for something not found on Earth. It is characterized by arousal in the presence of alien beings or representations of aliens. [I get turned on by] the thought of the possibility of other intelligent beings in a galaxy far, far away thinking about if we exist; anti-gravity and the weightlessness and the cold of space; the dangers and endless possibilities that exist in the universe; the multi-dimensional beings that can control you with their minds; the nebulas in bloom.


Besides an actual encounter or abduction taking place, how do you satisfy your fetish?
With indirect expressions. Exophiliacs will have an abnormal obsession with science fiction films, even the alien characters in the films. A sexual attraction to NASA astronauts and even alien experts and UFOlogists. Role play and cosplay are a huge part of this.

And also with the theory of all minds in the universe are connected in one, through a protocol of consciousness and meditation, it's a practiced and noted theory that we are able to contact telepathic extraterrestrial beings. CE-5, or Encounters of the Fifth Kind, branded by Dr. Steven M. Greer who has had over 200 documented series of encounters while practicing this technique. I imagine through this we are able to also have a sexual contact with these telepathic beings through consciousness and meditation.

What role does your art play in your fetish?
I use art to create my own alien universe, my imagination to create any universe I want, any creature I desire. I write my own science fiction erotica with these alien species. I become alive in these series and live there. I am attracted to humans with same interest, same passion for the otherworldly, rare breeds with a different way of thinking, or even that look abnormal, maybe a bit alien like. Of course, it's never like what the real thing would be like, although I wouldn't know what the real thing would be like. In space, anything is possible. If I want to create a penis tentacle monster like those in henti, or use body paint and FX makeup to make someone look grey, that is about the best possibility.


Do those methods make it possible to fulfill your sexual desires?
I do think there are possibilities we may be experiencing exophilia already and don't know it. As far as humans know, we have not experienced exophililia because aliens do not exist, or they exist and do not visit. Or they visit but avoid the exophiliacs? Or maybe they do but we are unable to remember? Or they have been living among us already and we've been breeding half-breeds all along. I think with a lot of fantasies and fetishes, it's about our imagination seeking every possibility and pushing it more. My exophiliac imagination is endless, so yes I definitely think it's possible.

Eka is a Canadian with a vore fetish who has been a member of the community that sexualizes being consumed by another creature for around 14 years. Eka's also the founder of the fetish website Eka's Portal.

What exactly is a Vore fetish?
There are millions of sexual scenarios. One of the most common example is as simple as being trapped inside another creature. You see those in all sort of cartoons, video games, or science-fiction. It doesn't take anything else for it to become a sexual scenario.

Are there any Vore fetishes that can be carried out in real life?
With the recent development in VR, potentially. Some people don't need more than simply closing their eyes and listening to sound. Some people simply wrap themselves up in a blanket. Imagining it came to life and harmlessly ate them. Of course, not all of us are equal and most vore fetishes are largely impossible to make a reality. Even if the thought of being consumed turns you on, you would never risk your life for it.


Since it's impossible, how do you manage to get off?
Popular media is actually filled with material. Though we have plenty of people spending thousands of dollar hiring artist to draw or render their ideal scenario, commissioning stories, or simply searching for material from artists and writers who did it on their free time. A lot of us engages in text-based role play. Real life role play exists, but it is exceedingly rare considering the underground and unspoken nature of this fetish.

Erika Eiffel is an objectum sexual, who changed her name to reflect her commitment to the Eiffel Tower. She founded the site OS Internationale in 2008 to offer support and raise awareness about objectum sexuality.

What is objectum sexuality?
Objectum-sexuality is a natural inclination to develop meaningful and significant relationships to objects that possess a particular uniqueness in the eye of the beholder. In other words, people who joke about falling in love with a toaster or a pencil miss the point that OS people find something distinct in the object that attracts them. If your lover had 10, 000 twins, they may not be so appealing.

Can you tell why you don't consider it a fetish?
OS is not a fetish because it misses the element of being a habitual psychosexual response to the object. A fetish implies that the object is merely present as a means-to-an-end for sexual stimulation and gratification. OS people are not inclined towards an object due to a sexual attraction. Instead, intimate feelings develop as a product of an emotional attraction.


Can sexual desires be fulfilled in OS relationships?
Given the fact that objects and humans are not two puzzle pieces originating with fitted parts, intimate affections are therefore not gauged on the idea of sexual intercourse. This gives rise to a certain freedom where we do not feel bound to follow certain standards of how to be intimate. Many OS people are also synesthetic and with the intrinsic cross wiring of the senses, climax often involves more than just the customary erogenous zones.

So, what does that look like?
Despite the seemingly awkward joining of two distinctly different puzzle pieces, OS people have the ability to fulfill their desires outside of the box. Naturally we have more recognizable forms of intimacy such as hugging, kissing, and caressing. However, the greater semantics of romance need not be discussed. There are certain questions that should remain unanswered. If not for the preservation of something personal and sacred, but to maintain the mystery of our beautiful and unique way of love.

Emma is an age player and diaper lover. She lives in Amsterdam where she has her own nursery. She also has her own website where she shares pictures of her diapered daily life.

How does being an adult baby play out in your sex life?
I am not exactly an adult baby—my play age varies from 3 to 16. Age play and diapers are not sexual in itself for me. To be little and to be diapered makes me feel snug, safe, secure, and relaxed. It's my happy time and it makes me feel good. When I do add sexual arousal to that, like with a partner or solo, it makes me feel extra super good. Not every ABDL (adult baby diaper lover) is interested in sex when they're in little mood, but me, I like it. It makes sex extra awesome.

What does your ABDL fantasy look like?
Well, the best place to do this would be an ABDL nursery, and I happen to have my own ABDL nursery in Amsterdam. I have adult size nursery furniture which is so awesome. In my fantasy, I would be wearing a school uniform or cotton romper and a lovely diaper, and my hair in pigtails. My sitter is just wearing his casual clothes. Or maybe his pyjamas. I love pyjamas.

What kind of techniques do you use to make it seem real?
ABDL, either sexual or non-sexual, is a fantasy scenario—it involves adults playing different fantasy ages. It's obvious that the world is not scaled for adult-sized littles. But you can upscale lots of things to be adult size, and then you can come a long way. For example, you can buy lots of cute rompers in size S to XXL or buy a pacifier that fits an adult.

Do you ever get frustrated with the fact that your fetish is just a fantasy?
I think it's nice that things are fantasy. That makes it possible to mix and match different fantasies and to be creative. For example, I wear a school uniform and I also wear a diaper and suck a pacifier. Or you can play it's time for bed when it's midday. It's fun.

All art by Heather Benjamin

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