My Brother Was In A Chinese Boy Band

Unique perform in Beijing in 2002.

Vice: Hey… remember when you were in that pop group? What was that about?

Rich Akers:

Come on.

Job offers like that don’t just come along, though. Where were you at the time? What were you thinking?

So break it down step by step (ooh baby): Who was in the band?

He was Chinese, right?

And what did you call yourselves publicly?

Because…

But you were from Melbourne.

Your boy band was dad-funded?

Well, he was the shortest.

Ouch. OK, so you’ve got a band, your band has a name, you get some songs together, then what?

“Rich to Wang Fei: I’m Cooler Than That Guy.”

So you were big? What kind of shows were you doing? Which cities?

What’s a fan meeting?

Bizarre. A fake TV show.

So at your gigs, was there screaming?

Crying?

Were you lip-syncing or actually singing?

I’ll rephrase: What was lip-syncing like?

Holy shit!

Who was it back then, Zemin?

Did he like the show?

Uh-oh.

Alex, Rich, and Luke (aka Nick 2.0).

So weird!

It sounds like things were going great. What happened? Like, why aren’t you the Chinese Robbie Williams?

Go on then.

That must have been tough for you, right? You guys were good friends by that stage.

So what did you do?

Did you put an ad in the paper?

Was it like Idol? Did many dudes turn up?

Unique’s debut CD.

How did the poor turnout affect band morale?

What was his name?

He parachuted onto a sinking ship. How did the end finally manifest?

Vanished?

What do you mean? Weren’t you looking after him?

No way.

Did he leave anything? A note?

A Unique poster hangs proudly at our mom’s house.

So you left it.

Shit.

So he lost all his money. Poor dude.

All over. Where are the other guys now?

We Will Rock You

Last question: Looking back, what were the best and worst things about being in a semi-famous Chinese boy band?