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Is Coolio Sending Us a Hidden Message in Falling In Reverse’s Godawful Cover of “Gangsta’s Paradise”?

We're through a very shitty looking glass here, people...
9.5.14

Oh, Coolio. Twenty years ago, he sat backwards in a chair (the cool way to sit) opposite Golden Globe-winner Michelle Pfeiffer. And now here he is, brushing the dirt off the shoulders of golden front-wearer Ronnie Radke in Falling In Reverse’ cover of “Gangsta’s Paradise." We’re not gonna bother talking about how awful the cover is. It’s kind of like when you make eye contact with someone whose dog is taking a shit. You both know it’s awful, so you politely pretend like it’s not happening and go about your day.

But wait. Maybe Coolio is sending us a hidden message…

Annons

If you analyze the video several times, which we have done because we both want to win a Pulitzer and also want our brains to melt out of our ears, you’ll notice that Coolio seems to be tacitly trying to convey something.

For starters, Coolio wears sunglasses the entire time, despite it being in the dark, and also covers his eyes for a scene:

Then, later, Coolio points at his ears before plugging them up with his own sunglasses:

And finally, Coolio not only doesn’t sing throughout the entire song, but doesn’t even open his mouth:

Put them all together: SEE NO EVIL, HEAR NO EVIL, SPEAK NO EVIL. Woaaaaah. Woah. Is it possible that Coolio, through his silence, is trying to impart the wisdom of Mizaru, Mikazaru, and Mazaru, the “three mystic apes” also known as "sanbiki no saru?" Could he be trying to secretly communicate a message to the viewers about the song’s relationship to the ancient Buddhist teaching of avoiding evil in all its forms?? Does Coolio want us to interpret these gestures as a sign to further study of the ancient texts of the Analects of Confucious?!?!?

…Nahhhhhhh! This video just eats a steaming pile of elephant shit and everything about it should be banned from music forever.

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