Annons
Annons
Annons
I once explained the concept of a chip butty to an American girl. "It's chips," I said. "In a bap." "What's a chip?" she said. A chip is a fry. "What's a bap?" A bap is a cob, or a barm cake, or a bread roll, or whatever the fuck you call it according to delineated and invisible linguistic ley lines that dissect the country. "Ew," she said. "So it's, like, a carb sandwich?" Yes. We eat those.Our language is beautiful and global. Collect a handful of people from various far-flung places in England and ask them this question: "What did you call them shoes you used to wear in PE class when you were in primary school? You know. You know the ones." The correct answer is "plimsolls", but someone is always willing to raise their fists in defence of "daps". We colonised all those countries and forced them to speak our language so now we don't have to learn French in school. Not a single fucking one of our regional accents make sense. What aliens came down from space and taught everyone in Birmingham to talk like that.WATCH: VICE's documentary on people who, for whatever reason, are Royal Wedding obsessives
Annons
Annons
Annons