A week or so ago, Satan decided to spew his hatred over Linköping, Sweden. And he sure wasn't the only one...
People from the cursed cities of Gothenburg, Stockholm, London, Leeds and Dals Långed had come to see the only Watain concert in Sweden this year. The night reeked of darkness—reliable sources tell us that E of Watain woke up from hurling that same morning, and stories about how earlier Watain audiences had been drenched in rotten pigs blood and pelted with corpse maggots made some of the girls squirm. Goats' skulls with sprinklers in their mouths and garden hoses attached to them were mounted in the front row, and when the first splashes hit the floor most Linköping bar flies left the restaurant. It was pretty much a vomiting fest from that on. The outside looked like if the blueberry pie-eating contest from Stand by Me had been on a wake. Breathtaking doesn't even begin to describe the show musically. It was a sinister, glorious, fast-paced BM assault. And it's probably as close to a black mass as this atheist column will ever get. We'll be staying away from fermented herring for a few years too, but a favourite dish is a small sacrifice for music this dark.
For more on food leaving the body, Nattefrost's Terrorist is still the only Motörhead-ish, good times Black Metal with shitting and puking traxxx worth listening to. Nattefrost says it makes him feel warm listening to the sounds his body makes on CD, and if you feel the same way, don't miss out on "Eine Kleine Arshmuzick" and "Catapvltam Vrinam Philosophiam." A new picture disk of Terrorist has just been released, and that's the Southern Lord boss standing next to Nattefrost's ass on the Lord edition.
With all the Mayhem gigs going on, now is also a good time to dig your scrawny little hands down the back of your album shelf and snatch up that old copy of the VOMIT cassette demo (ha ha, as IF!). If you're still un-eclipsed: The band was a part of Mayhem for two shakes of goat's tail back in –87, but it didn't work out and they were replaced by Dead and Hellhammer. The band broke up a year or so after that, and for a whole bunch of different reasons most of them are not in bands right now (although Torben is singing at the Opera in Oslo, and has just gotten his helicopter license). Guitarist Lars tells us he's currently looking for a band, but Kittil have given up the left path and joined the flock of lambs. We'll be getting back to this hellish scorcher of a band laters.
This reminds us again just how utterly disgusting it is that Neseblod in Oslo STILL hasn't been put on the UNESCO World Heritage List. Apart from having the actual, original Rot in Hell cassette demo in the store, strictly for decoration, they're also putting out a very limited CD re-release of the tape together with Maniac. There are still a few copies left, so if you feel like some stunningly unsophisticated and beautifully evil noise made by 13-year-olds, just wade past the heaps and heaps of original Marduk tees, the shoes Blasphemer wore onstage, the original "Burzum—coming soon to a church near you" tee and every other priceless, antique trinket that is just laying around in that store, and give them you money. (The boots are in the back room, to the right under the shelf with €1 records, if you were wondering.)
Oh, and if you're going to have the biggest, bloodiest barbeque of this feeble, squealing, tiny toddler of a century on the 6th of June (get it?), don't fucking forget to invite us. We'll bring the carcass and the havoc if you just fire up the grill.