Do It!

Collie Buddz

Elplate and Sean Paul

Mr Wong’s shop. Photo by Ben Rayner

e’re just back from Jamaica where VBS filmed a massive dancehall documentary. We spoke to literally everyone. On the first day we met Sizzla in his fortified compound called Judgement Yard, where he lives with about forty guys that just spend all day smoking weed. It’s this huge canyon where he grew up and instead of moving when he got rich, he just bought everything surrounding it. His right hand man is a guy called Rooster whose sole purpose in life is to crow like a rooster. That’s all he does. A few days later we drove for five hours from Kingston to Montego Bay to interview Sean Paul. After the interview we got really stoned with him and his brother regaling us with accounts of Ninjaman Vs. Super Cat Sting battles. His house is the biggest dancehall star cliché ever—white marble, bitches in bikinis on sofas with nine bars of weed being cut up with a hacksaw in front of them, guys with Uzis lying across their chests, asleep on beds in the front room, everything you’d imagine. Elplate got so stoned he left his jacket with his passport in behind and only realised once we’d arrived back at our hotel, so Sean Paul’s brother drove all the way to Kingston to drop it off. Our hotel was literally swarming with dancehall deejays. Producers like Black Chiney would fly in and rent a room for a day, call everyone in and get like 15 vocals recorded in one session to save on studio costs. We saw Mavado sneaking around our pool late one night after a session, but when we shouted across to him he wasn’t too happy. We’re massive fans, but he had absolutely no sense of humour and seemed totally paranoid the whole time. We guess he’s still watching his back after the Vybz Kartel feud. He was really intense and dark and kept dodging our calls, but we kept bumping into him and eventually got him to do a dub for us. We also went and got our hair done at Bling Dawg’s barbers, Bling Cuts, which maybe wasn’t the best idea because either they were trying to make us look like Eminem or they’d never cut white people’s hair before. The trip wouldn’t have been complete without us leaving an indelible mark on the dancehall scene forever, so we decided to gate crash an Assassin video shoot. We asked if Elplate could get a cameo but they were having none of it, so he just kept jumping into shot and pulling funny poses. They weren’t too happy about it. In equally interesting news back home, we discovered everyone’s favourite Chinese grime MC Mr Wong’s shop in south London the other day. It’s right next to the Lidl in Peckham. Apparently you can see him closing up and helping out when he’s not working shifts as a bus driver, so keep your eye out next time you’re in the area. When we went in, his mum was behind the counter, but we were too shy to talk to her. We told you in Grimewatch last year about a grime MC (who may or may not have a brother called JME) who robbed a guy in Ayia Napa and ended up getting arrested along with another guy MC. We recently heard more details. The pair only got out when someone turned up at the guy’s mum’s house back home and the charges were dropped. If you can be bothered, listen to the covertly titled “Ayia Napa Story” on Frisco’s new mixtape, Back 2 Da Lab Vol. 2, for a full spilling of the barbeque-flavoured beans. We’ve got to run now and catch a flight to New York and then on to San Francisco, so expect some more stories next month. We’ll leave you with an interview we did with Bermuda reggae guy, Collie Buddz, the other day. Vice: Why such a random selection of artists on the “Come Around” megamix? I mean, Paul Wall and Shaggy on the same track? Collie Buddz: My manager gave out the track to everybody that he thought might go on the riddim. We didn’t expect everyone to come back with something, but everybody came back, so we just decided to make it a megamix. OK, but Shaggy? Have you seen “Church Heathen”? That video is crazy. You didn’t like it? I think the song is all right, but the whole thing with the video is like a weird, twisted dream in his head that you’re forced to watch. Yeah, it’s crazy—Ninjaman as the preacher! He’s got a crazy sense of humour. We share a studio in New York. He’s a character. Did you get your name from the breed of dog the collie? Erm… Collie, in Jamaica, is another term for high grade. We call it collie weed, you know. It’s another name we use for high grade. Collie Buddz means high grade buds, you know what I’m saying? Okay, I think I get it. Well, since you are named after a breed of dog, does that mean your favourite film of all time is Lassie? Erm… Did you like the film? There’s a movie? They made a movie? I haven’t even seen it. I thought it was just the series. No, they did a movie. It’s a classic. Lassie gets shot at the end. It’s pretty sad. Oh shit. I was a deprived child. I’m going to have to tell my mum she was a bad parent. You know, my first dog was called Buddz. He was a collie. My gran would refer to him as Buddz the Collie… That’s kind of crazy. That could be the name of your next album – Buddz The Collie. Erm… You’re not a fan? Nah, not really. Collie comes from the high grade herb, not the dog. PRANCEHALL