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Jamie Taete's Internet Landfill

DO AS DIDDY SAYS, NOT AS DIDDY DIDS

In an interview with The Source (conducted "on his yacht during a trip to St. Barts". Eugh.) P Diddy has said that he thinks Obama should do better:

"I love the president like most of us, I just want the president to do better. There's a difference between us voting for somebody and us believing in somebody… He's the person that we believed in so I pray night and day that he understands how God ordained his presidency. I feel there was a promise made to God to look after people that was less fortunate and [many] of those people are African-American."

Annons

So what has Diddy been up to lately that makes him qualified to give such advice?

The majority of this video is pretty boring, so I've scheduled it to play at the point where his awfulness plateaus. Just to be clear, we are seeing Diddy, a 41-year-old multi-millionaire, dressed up as Soulja Boy, with an ice cream in one hand and a wad of cash in the other, saying the word "swag" with each step.

Obama, if you could just be a teensy bit more like this, that would be great. Thanks.

IRONY ECLIPSE APPROACHING

Did I miss something? I thought everyone was still only on about 1999 when it came to retroactive irony? How did mid-00s irony get so saturated that a big company like L'Oreal is using it in its advertising already? Unless… wait… you don't think that someone at L'Oreal thought that, in 2011, it would be okay to dress Gwen Stefani as Switch from The Matrix then show her graffiti'ing along to "Hollaback Girl" in "Hey Baby" houndstooth? That would be too much for me to take.

DAILY MAIL PICKS NEW AGENDA

It's been a while since the Daily Mail last made gays their minority of choice to attack (last instance I remember is when Jan Moir decided she was more qualified than a official post-mortem in deciding what killed Stephen Gately – a story that now sits at the top of Google's search results when you type in "Gately". RIP in peace.). So it's really great to see them back on form this week:

Annons

They started the week off with this cartoon which shows the two gay guys who got turned away from the hotel as skinheads (complete with a swastika tattoo). Though I'm not entirely sure I really get it (are they saying that gay hotel guests are the same as gay neo-Nazis?), it's in the Daily Mail, so I can't imagine it's the harmless kind of unfunny nonsense.

Next up, we had this article about a (totally voluntary) scheme to make school lessons more gay inclusive. In the grand Daily Mail tradition, they never really came out fully against it, but used snide terms like "children as young as four" to ensure your subconscious was sufficiently outraged.

But then, tiring of their trademark brand of Daily Mail subtlety, they shit this article out. Which accuses gays of making an "attempt to brainwash children with propaganda under the ­camouflage of ­education." The article is pretty 'TL,DR', as she does a lot of whining about how she shouldn't be discriminated against on the basis of her discriminating against people because that would be discrimination. But I think the gist of it is that gay people, as a collective, are conspiring to make it the law that children must watch gay porn at school all day. Those scoundrels!

ATLANTA GRANDMOTHER SELLS SON'S RIGHT TO PEACEFUL SCHOOL LIFE

You know how we're always being told to watch what you do these days because the internet remembers everything and you'll never get a job if people know that you got drunk at university? Well I guess no one told Carmen Jones of Atlanta, Georgia. From Bloomberg:

Annons

"ATLANTA (AP) — A Georgia woman is suing a downtown Atlanta hotel after she says her 4-year-old grandson contracted herpes from a used condom found in their hotel room bed sheets last year.

"The lawsuit was filed by the boy's grandmother, Carmen Jones, and seeks damages from Wyndham Hotels and Resorts, as well as Crescent Hotels and Resorts and the hotel's manager. The family's attorney, Thomas F. Jones, said the boy has suffered from lesions in his mouth, vomiting and fevers since the August 2010 incident.

"Jones said the grandmother came out of the shower and found the boy with the condom in his mouth, attempting to blow it up. Jones said the boy has been diagnosed with herpes.

"Evy Apostolatos, spokeswoman for the New Jersey-based Wyndham, declined comment because the lawsuit is pending."

Way to go grandma! You just ruined ANY chance your 4-year-old grandson had of not being bullied at school.

Also, AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!

JAMIE LEE CURTIS TAETE