Bears are more than just our furry, fellatio-loving animal friends. They're also hulking lords of the wild who can sink your puny human face in with a single swipe of a paw and don't take kindly to you coming too close to their baby cubs.
That's how 61-year-old Rick Nelson found himself in a fist fight with a pissed-off mother bear last Sunday in Canada. According to CBC, Nelson was walking his dog when he stumbled across a bear cub hiding in a nearby bush. The cub looked at Nelson and his dog, let out a little sound, and the next thing Nelson knew he had a 135 kg black bear momma charging his way.
The bear, up on its hind legs, took a swipe at Nelson, scratching a few gashes across his chest and face. Nelson, though, was ready. "I had no rocks [and] no sticks," to defend himself with, he told CBC. But he did have his fists.
Nelson, who had hunted bears in the past, knew most bears are dominant with their right paw. So before the bear could deck him with a right-handed haymaker, he landed a blow right in its snout. The punch rang the bear's bell enough for it to opt to just split with the cub and leave Nelson alone.
"Black bears really aren't dangerous unless you have a cub involved," Nelson explained to CBC, worried that his run-in might inspire some bear fear. "Sometimes black bears get a really bad rap. Probably they're more afraid of you and [me], than we are of them."
That said, it's still probably a good idea to avoid the bear selfie next time you come across one in the wild, unless you're ready to throw down.